Epistles (first series)
Sister Nivedita
Benares (Varanasi)
12 February, 1902
{To Sister Nivedita}
May all powers come unto you! May Mother Herself be your hands and mind! It is immense power--irresistible--that I pray for you, and, if possible, along with it infinite peace. . . .If there was any truth in Shri Ramakrishna, may He take you into His leading, even as He did me, nay, a thousand times more!
Vivekananda
CLIII
C/o Miss Mead,
447 Douglas Building, ,
Los Angels, California,
15th Feb., 1900
My dear Nivedita,
Yours of the -- reached me today at Pasadena. I see Joe has missed you at Chicago -- although I have not heard anything from them yet from New York.
There was a bundle of English newspapers from England with a line on the envelope expressing good wishes for me and signed, F.H.M. Nothing important was in those, however. I would have written a letter to Miss Muller, but I do not know the address; then I was afraid to frighten her.
In the meanwhile, Mrs. Leggett started a plan of a $ 100 subscription each a year for ten years to help me, and headed the list with her $ 100 for 1900, and got 2 others here to do the same. Then she went on writing letters to all my friends asking each to join in it. When she went on writing to Mrs. Miller I was rather shy -- but she did it before I knew. A very polite but cold letter came to her in reply from Mrs. Hale, written by Mary, expressing their inability and assuring her of their love for me. I am afraid Mrs. Hale and Mary are displeased. But it was not my fault at all!!
I get news from Mrs. Sevier that Niranjan is seriously ill in Calcutta. I do not know if he has passed away.
Well -- but I am strong now, Margo, stronger than ever I was mentally. I was mentally getting a sort of ironing over my heart. I am getting nearer a Sannyasin's life now. I have not had any news from Saradananda for two weeks. I am glad you got the stories; rewrite them if you think so -- get them published if you find anybody to do it and take the proceeds, if any, for your work. Going to San Francisco next week, and hope to do better there. Tell Mary when you see her next that I had nothing whatsoever to do with the proposal of $ 100 a year subscription to Mrs. Hale. I am so grateful to them.Well, money will come for your school, never fear -- it has got to come; if it does not come, who cares? One road is quite as good as the other. Mother knows best. I don't know whether I am very soon going to the East or not. If I have an opportunity, of course I will go to Indiana.
The International scheme is a good one and by all means join it, and be the medium of getting some Indian women's clubs to join it through you, which is better.....
Things shall look up for us, never mind. As soon as the war is finished we go to England and try to do a big work there. What do you think? Shall I write to Mother Superior? If so, send her whereabouts. Has she written to you? Sturdies and "Shakies" will all come round -- hold on.
You are learning your lessons -- that is all I want. So am I; the moment we are fit, money and men must flow towards us. Between my nerves and your emotion we may make a mess of everything just now. So Mother is curing my nerves and drilling you into level-headedness -- and then we go. This time good is coming in chunks, I am sure. We will make the; foundations of the old land shake this time.
. . . I am getting cool as a cucumber -- let anything come, I am ready. The next move -- any blow shall tell -- not one miss -- such is the next chapter.
With all love,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLV
San Francisco,
4th March, 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
I don't want to work. I want to be quiet, and rest. I know the time and the place; but the fate or Karma, I think, drives me on -- work. We are like cattle driven to the slaughter-house -- hastily nibbling a bite of grass on the road side as they are driven along under the whip. And all this is our work, our fear -- fear, the beginning of misery, of disease, etc. By being nervous and fearful we injure other. By being so fearful to hurt we hurt more. By ;trying so much to avoid evil we fall into its jaws.
What a mass of namby-pamby nonsense we create round ourselves!! It does us no good, it leads us no good, it leads us on to the very thing we try to avoid -- misery. ...
Oh, to become fearless, to be daring, to be careless of everything! ...
Yours etc.
VIVEKANANDA.
CLVI
San Francisco,
25th March, 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
I am much better and am growing very strong. I feel sometimes that freedom is near at hand, and the tortures of the last two years have been great lessons in many ways. Disease and misfortune come to do us good in the long run, although at the time we feel that we are submerged for ever.
I am the infinite blue sky; the clouds may gather over me, but I am the same infinite blue.
I am trying to get a taste of that peace which I know is my nature and everyone's nature. These tin pots of bodies and foolish dreams of happiness and misery -- what are they?
My dreams are breaking. Om Tat Sat!
Yours,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLIX
New York,
20th June, 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
...Well, Mother seems to be kind again and the wheel is slowly
rising up. ...
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLX
New York,
2nd July 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
. Mother knows, as I always say. Pray to Mother. It is hard work
to be a leader -- one must crush all one's own self under the feet of the community. ...
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXI
6 Place Des Etats Unis, Paris,
25th Aug., 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
Your letter reached me just now. Many thanks for the kind expressions.
I gave a chance to Mrs. Bull to draw her money out of the Math; and as she did not say anything about it, and the trust deeds were waiting here to be executed, I got them executed duly at the British Consulate; and they are on their way to India now.
Now I am free, as I have kept no power or authority or position for me in the work. I also have resigned the presidentship of the Ramakrishna Mission
The Math etc., belong now to the immediate disciples of Ramakrishna except myself. The presidentship is now Brahmananda's -- next it will fall on Premananda etc., etc., in turn.
I am so glad a whole load is off me, now I am happy. I have served Ramakrishna through mistakes and success for 20 years now. I retire for good and devote the rest of my life to myself.
I no longer represent anybody, nor am I responsible to anybody. As to my friends, I had a morbid sense of obligation. I have thought well and find I owe nothing to anybody; if anything, I have given my best energies, unto death almost, and received only hectoring and mischief-making and botheration. I am done with everyone here and in India.
Your letter indicates that I am jealous of your new friends. You must know once for all, I am born without jealousy, without avarice, without the desire to rule -- whatever other vices I am born with.
I never directed you before; now, after I am nobody in the work, I have no direction whatever. I only know this much; So long as you serve "Mother" with a whole heart, She will be your guide.
I never had any jealousy about what friends you made, I never criticized my brethren for mixing up in anything. Only I do believe the Western people have the peculiarity of trying to force upon others whatever seems good to them, forgetting that what is good for you may not be good for others. As such, I am afraid you might try to force upon others whatever turn your mind might take in contact with new friends. That was the only reason I sometimes tried to stop any particular influence, and nothing else.
You are free, have your own choice, your own work. ...
Friends or foes, they are all instruments in Her hand to help us work out our own Karma, through pleasure or pain. As such "Mother" bless them all.
With love and blessings,
Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXII
Paris,
28th August, 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
Such is life -- grind, grind; and yet what else are we to do? Grind, grind! Something will come -- some way will be opened. If it does not, as it probably never will -- then, then -- what then? All our efforts are only to stave off, for a season, the great climax -- death! Oh, what would the world do without you, Death! Though great healer!
The world, as it is, is not real, is not eternal, thank the Lord!! How can the future be any better? That must be an effect of this one -- at least like this, if not worse! Dreams, oh dreams! Dream on! Dream, the magic of dream, is ;the cause of this life, it is also the remedy. Dream, dream, only dream! Kill dream by dream!
I am trying to learn French, talking to -- here. Some are very appreciative already. Talk to all the world -- of the eternal riddle, the eternal spool of fate, whose thread end no one finds and everyone seems to find, at least to his own satisfaction, at least for a time -- to fool himself a moment, isn't lit?
Well, now great things are to be done! Who cares for great things? Why not do small things as well? One is as good as the other. The greatness of little things, that is what the Gita teaches -- bless the old book!! ...
I have not had much time to think of the body. So it must be well. Nothing is ever well here. We forget them at times, and that is being well and doing well.
We play our parts here -- good or bad. When the dream is finished and we have left the stage, we will have a hearty ;laugh at all this -- of this only I am sure.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXVI
The Math, Belur, Howrah,
19th Dec., 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
Just a voice across the continents to say, how do you do? Are you not surprised? Verily I am a bird of passage. Gay and busy Paris, grim old Constantinople, sparkling little Athens, and pyramidal Cairo are left behind, and here I am writing in my room
on the Ganga in the Math. It is so quiet and still! The broad river is dancing the bright sunshine, only now and then an occasional cargo boat breaking the silence with the splashing of the oars. It is the cold season here, but the middle of the day is warm and bright every day. But it is the winter of Southern California. Everything is green and gold, and the grass is like velvet; yet the air is cold and crisp and delightful.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXVIII
The Math, Belur,
7th Sept., 1901.
Dear Nivedita,
We all work by bits, that is to say, in this cause. I try to keep down the spring, but something or other happens, and the spring goes whirr, and there you are --thinking, remembering, scribbling, scrawling, and all that!
Well, about the rains -- they have come down in right earnest, and it is a deluge, pouring, pouring, pouring night and day. The river is rising, flooding the banks; the ponds and tanks have overflowed. I have just now returned from lending a hand in cutting a deep drain to take off the water from the Math grounds. The rain-water stands at places some feet high. My huge stark is full of glee, and so are the ducks and geese. My tame antelope fled from the Math and gave us some days of anxiety in finding him out. One of my ducks unfortunately died yesterday. She had been gasping for breath more than a week. One of my waggish old monks says, "Sir, it is no use living in the Kali-Yuga when ducks catch cold from damp and rain, and frogs sneeze!"
One of the geese had her plumes falling off. Knowing no other method, I left her some minutes in a tub of water mixed with mild carbolic, so that it might either kill or heal; and she is all right now.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXXVI
ALMORA,
3rd June, 1897.
Dear Miss Noble,
... As for myself I am quite content. I have roused a good many of
our people, and that was all I wanted. Let things have their course and Karma its sway. I have no bonds her below. I have seen life, and it is all self-life is for self, love for self, honour for self, everything for self. I look back and scarcely find any action I have done for self -- even my wicked deeds were not for self. So I am content; not that I feel I have done anything specially good or great, but the world is so little, life so mean a thing, existence so, so servile -- that I wonder and smile that human beings, rational souls, should be running after this self -- so mean and detestable a prize.
This is the truth. We are caught in a trap, and the sooner one gets out, the better for one. I have seen the truth -- let the body float up or down, who cares?
It is a beautiful mountain park I am living in now. On the north, extending almost all along the horizon, are peak after peak of the snow-clad Himalayas -- forests abounding. It is not cold here, neither very warm; the evenings and mornings are
simply delicious. I should like to be here this summer, and when the rains set in, I go down to the plains to work.I was born for the life of a scholar -- retired, quiet, poring over my books. But the Mother dispenses otherwise -- yet the tendency is there.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
XXXVI
63 St. George's Road, London
7th June, 1896
Dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
My ideal indeed can be put into a few words and that is: to preach unto mankind their divinity, and how to make it manifest in every movement of life.
This world is in chain of superstition. I pity the oppressed, whether man or woman, and I pity more the oppressors.
One idea that I see clear as daylight is that misery is caused by ignorance and nothing else. Who will give the world light? Sacrifice in the past has been the Law, it will be, alas, for ages to come. The earth's bravest and best will have to sacrifice themselves for the good of many, for the welfare of all. Buddhas by the hundred are necessary with eternal love and pity.
Religions of the world have become lifeless mockeries. What the world wants is character. The world is in need of those whose life is one burning love, selfless. That love will make every word tell like thunderbolt.
It is no superstition with you, I am sure, you have the making in you of a world?mover, and others will also come. Bold words and bolder deeds are what we want. Awake, awake, great ones! The world is burning with misery. Can you sleep? Let us call and call till the sleeping gods awake, till the god within answers to the call. What more is in life? What greater work? The details come to me as I go. I never make plans. Plans grow and work themselves. I only say, awake, awake!
May all blessings attend you for ever!
Yours affectionately,
Vivekananda.
XLI
Almora
23rd July, 1897.
My dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
Excuse these few lines. I shall write more fully as soon as I reach some place. I am on my way from the hills to the plains.
I do not understand what you mean by frankness without familiarity I for one will give anything to get rid of the last lingering bit of Oriental formality in me and speak out like a child of nature. Oh, to live even for a day in the full light of freedom, to breathe the free air of simplicity! Is not that the highest purity?
In this world we work through fear of others, we talk through fear, we think through fear, alas! we are born in a land of enemies. Who is there who has been able to get rid of this feeling of fear, as if everyone is a spy set specially to watch him? And woe unto the man who pushes himself forward! Will it ever be a land of friends? Who knows? We can only try.
The work has already begun and at present famine?relief is the thing next to hand. Several centres have been opened and the work goes on; famine?relief, preaching, and a little teaching. As yet of course it is very very insignificant, the boys in training are being taken out as opportunity is offering itself. The sphere of action at present is Madras and Calcutta. Mr. Goodwin working in Madras. Also one has gone to Colombo. From the next week a monthly report of the whole work will be forwarded to you if it has not already reached you. I am away from the centre of work, so things go a little slow, you see; but the work is satisfactory on the whole.
You can do more work for us from England than by coming here. Lord bless you for your great self?sacrifice for the poor Indians.
I entirely agree with you that the work in England will look up when I am there. But all the same it is not proper to leave India before the machine is moving at some rate and I am sure that there are many to guide it in my absence. That will be done in a few months. "God willing", as the Mussulmans say. One of my best workers is now in England, the Raja of Khetri. I expect him soon in India, and he will be of great service to me no doubt.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Yours,
Vivekananda.
XLII
Almora
29th July, 1897.
My dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
A letter from Sturdy reached me yesterday, informing me that you are determined to come to India and see things with your own eyes. I replied to that yesterday, but what I learnt from Miss Muller about your plans makes this further note necessary, and it is better that it should be direct.
Let me tell you frankly that I am now convinced that you have a great future in the work for India. What was wanted was not a man, but a woman a real lioness to work for the Indians, women specially.
India cannot yet produce great women, she must borrow them from other nations. Your education, sincerity, purity, immense love, determination, and above all, the Celtic blood make you just the woman wanted.
Yet the difficulties are many. You cannot form any idea of misery, the superstition, and the slavery that are here. You will be in the midst of a mass of half?naked men and women with quaint ideas of caste and isolation, shunning the white skin through fear or hatred and hated by them intensely. On the other hand, you will be looked upon by the white as a crank, and every one of your movements will be watched with suspicion.
Then the climate is fearfully hot; our winter in most places being like your summer, and in the south it is always blazing.
Not one European comfort is to be had in places out of the cities. If in spite of all this, you dare venture into the work, you are welcome, a hundred times welcome. As for me, I am nobody here as elsewhere, but what little influence I have shall be devoted to your service.
You must think well before you plunge in; and after work, if you fail in this or get disgusted, on my part I promise you, I will stand by you unto death whether you work for India or not, whether you give up Vedanta or remain in it. "The tusks of the elephant come out, but never go back"; so are the words of a man never retracted. I promise you that. Again, I must give you a bit of warning. You must stand on your own feet and not be under the wings of Miss Muller or anybody else. Miss Muller is a good lady in her own way, but unfortunately it got into her head, when she was a girl, that she was a born leader and that no other qualifications were necessary to move world but money! This idea is coming on the surface again and again in spite of herself, and you will find it impossible to pull on with her in a few days. She now intends to take a house in Calcutta for herself and yourself and other European or American friends who may come.
It is very kind and good of her, but her Lady Abbess plan will never be carried out for two reasons her violent temper and overbearing conduct, and her awfully vacillating mind. Friendship with many is best at a distance, and everything goes well with the person who stands on his own feet.
Mrs. Sevier is a jewel of a lady so good, so kind! The Seviers are the only English people who do not hate the natives , Sturdy not excepted. Mr. and Mrs. Sevier are the only persons who did not come to patronise us, but they have no fixed plans yet. When you come, you may get them to work with you, and that will be really helpful to them and to you. But after all it is absolutely necessary to stand on one's own feet.
I learn from America that two friends of mine, Mrs. Ole Bull of Boston and Miss MacLeod, are coming on a visit to India this autumn. Miss MacLeod you already know in London, that Paris?dressed young American lady; Mrs. Ole Bull is about fifty and has been a kind friend to me in America. I may suggest that your joining the party may while away the tedium of the journey, as they also are coming by way of Europe.
I am glad to receive a note at least from Sturdy after long. But it was so stiff and cold. It seems he is disappointed at the collapse of the London work.
With everlasting love,
Yours ever in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
Epistles (third series)
XXXVI
63 St. George's Road, London
7th June, 1896
Dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
My ideal indeed can be put into a few words and that is: to preach unto mankind their divinity, and how to make it manifest in every movement of life.
This world is in chain of superstition. I pity the oppressed, whether man or woman, and I pity more the oppressors.
One idea that I see clear as daylight is that misery is caused by ignorance and nothing else. Who will give the world light? Sacrifice in the past has been the Law, it will be, alas, for ages to come. The earth's bravest and best will have to sacrifice themselves for the good of many, for the welfare of all. Buddhas by the hundred are necessary with eternal love and pity.
Religions of the world have become lifeless mockeries. What the world wants is character. The world is in need of those whose life is one burning love, selfless. That love will make every word tell like thunderbolt.
It is no superstition with you, I am sure, you have the making in you of a world-mover, and others will also come. Bold words and bolder deeds are what we want. Awake, awake, great ones! The world is burning with misery. Can you sleep? Let us call and call till the sleeping gods awake, till the god within answers to the call. What more is in life? What greater work? The details come to me as I go. I never make plans. Plans grow and work themselves. I only say, awake, awake!
May all blessings attend you for ever!
Yours affectionately,
Vivekananda.
XLI
Almora
23rd July, 1897.
My dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
Excuse these few lines. I shall write more fully as soon as I reach some place. I am on my way from the hills to the plains.
I do not understand what you mean by frankness without familiarity--I for one will give anything to get rid of the last lingering bit of Oriental formality in me and speak out like a child of nature. Oh, to live even for a day in the full light of freedom, to breathe the free air of simplicity! Is not that the highest purity? In this world we work through fear of others, we talk through fear, we think through fear, alas! we are born in a land of enemies. Who is there who has been able to get rid of this feeling of fear, as if everyone is a spy set specially to watch him? And woe unto the man who pushes himself forward! Will it ever be a land of friends? Who knows? We can only try.
The work has already begun and at present famine-relief is the thing next to hand. Several centres have been opened and the work goes on; famine-relief, preaching, and a little teaching. As yet of course it is very very insignificant, the boys in training are being taken out as opportunity is offering itself. The sphere of action at present is Madras and Calcutta. Mr. Goodwin working in Madras. Also one has gone to Colombo. From the next week a monthly report of the whole work will be forwarded to you if it has not already reached you. I am away from the centre of work, so things go a little slow, you see; but the work is satisfactory on the whole.
You can do more work for us from England than by coming here. Lord bless you for your great self-sacrifice for the poor Indians.
I entirely agree with you that the work in England will look up when I am there. But all the same it is not proper to leave India before the machine is moving at some rate and I am sure that there are many to guide it in my absence. That will be done in a few months. "God willing", as the Mussulmans say. One of my best workers is now in England, the Raja of Khetri. I expect him soon in India, and he will be of great service to me no doubt.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Yours,
Vivekananda.
XLII
Almora
29th July, 1897.
My dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
A letter from Sturdy reached me yesterday, informing me that you are determined to come to India and see things with your own eyes. I replied to that yesterday, but what I learnt from Miss Muller about your plans makes this further note necessary, and it is better that it should be direct.
Let me tell you frankly that I am now convinced that you have a great future in the work for India. What was wanted was not a man, but a woman--a real lioness--to work for the Indians, women specially.
India cannot yet produce great women, she must borrow them from other nations. Your education, sincerity, purity, immense love, determination, and above all, the Celtic blood make you just the woman wanted.
Yet the difficulties are many. You cannot form any idea of misery, the superstition, and the slavery that are here. You will be in the midst of a mass of half-naked men and women with quaint ideas of caste and isolation, shunning the white skin through fear or hatred and hated by them intensely. On the other hand, you will be looked upon by the white as a crank, and every one of your movements will be watched with suspicion.
Then the climate is fearfully hot; our winter in most places being like your summer, and in the south it is always blazing.
Not one European comfort is to be had in places out of the cities. If in spite of all this, you dare venture into the work, you are welcome, a hundred times welcome. As for me, I am nobody here as elsewhere, but what little influence I have shall be devoted to your service.
You must think well before you plunge in; and after work, if you fail in this or get disgusted, on my part I promise you, I will stand by you unto death whether you work for India or not, whether you give up Vedanta or remain in it. "The tusks of the elephant come out, but never go back"; so are the words of a man never retracted. I promise you that. Again, I must give you a bit of warning. You must stand on your own feet and not be under the wings of Miss Muller or anybody else. Miss Muller is a good lady in her own way, but unfortunately it got into her head, when she was a girl, that she was a born leader and that no other qualifications were necessary to move world but money! This idea is coming on the surface again and again in spite of herself, and you will find it impossible to pull on with her in a few days. She now intends to take a house in Calcutta for herself and yourself and other European or American friends who may come.
It is very kind and good of her, but her Lady Abbess plan will never be carried out for two reasons--her violent temper and overbearing conduct, and her awfully vacillating mind. Friendship with many is best at a distance, and everything goes well with the person who stands on his own feet.
Mrs. Sevier is a jewel of a lady--so good, so kind! The Seviers are the only English people who do not hate the natives , Sturdy not excepted. Mr. and Mrs. Sevier are the only persons who did not come to patronise us, but they have no fixed plans yet. When you come, you may get them to work with you, and that will be really helpful to them and to you. But after all it is absolutely necessary to stand on one's own feet.
I learn from America that two friends of mine, Mrs. Ole Bull of Boston and Miss MacLeod, are coming on a visit to India this autumn. Miss MacLeod you already know in London, that Paris-dressed young American lady; Mrs. Ole Bull is about fifty and has been a kind friend to me in America. I may suggest that your joining the party may while away the tedium of the journey, as they also are coming by way of Europe.
I am glad to receive a note at least from Sturdy after long. But it was so stiff and cold. It seems he is disappointed at the collapse of the London work.
With everlasting love,
Yours ever in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
XLVII
Los Angeles
6th Dec., 1899.
Dear Margot {Nivedita},
Your sixth has arrived, but with it yet no change in my fortune. Would change be any good, do you think? Some people are made that way, to love being miserable. If I did not break my heart over people I was born amongst, I would do it for somebody else. I am sure of that. This is the way of some, I am coming to see it. We are all after happiness, true, but that some are only happy in being unhappy--queer, is it not? There is no harm in it either, except that happiness and unhappiness are both infectious. Ingersoll said once that if he were God, he would make health catching, instead of disease, little dreaming that health is quite as catching as disease, if not more! That is the only danger. No harm in the world in my being happy, in being miserable, but others must not catch it. This is the great fact. No sooner a prophet feels miserable for the state of man than he sours his face, beats his breast, and calls upon everyone to drink tartaric acid, munch charcoal, sit upon a dung-heap covered with ashes, and speak only in groans and tears!--I find they all have been wanting. Yes, they have. If you are really ready to take the world's burden, take it by all means. But do not let us hear your groans and curses. Do not frighten us with your sufferings, so that we came to feel we were better off with our own burdens. The man who really takes the burden blesses the world and goes his own way. He has not a word of condemnation, a word of criticism, not because there was no evil but that he has taken it on his own shoulders willingly, voluntarily. It is the Saviour who should "go his way rejoicing, and not the saved".
This is the only light I have caught this morning. This is enough if it has come to live with me and permeate my life.
Come ye that are heavy laden and lay all your burden on me, and then do whatever you like and be happy and forget that I ever existed.
Ever with love,
Your father,
Vivekananda.
Epistles (fourth series)
XCI
To Sister Nivedita
Alambazar Math
Calcutta
5th May, 1897.
My Dear Miss Noble {Sister Nivedita},
Your very very kind, loving, and encouraging letter gave me more strength than you think of.There are moments when one feels entirely despondent, no doubt--especially when one has worked towards an ideal during a whole life's time and just when there is a bit of hope of seeing it partially accomplished, there comes a tremendous thwarting blow. I do not care for the disease, but what depresses me is that my ideals have not had yet the least opportunity of being worked out. And you know, the difficulty is money.
The Hindus are making processions and all that, but they cannot give money. The only help I got in the world was in England, from Miss Muller, and Mr. Sevier. I thought there that a thousand pounds was sufficient to start at least the principal centre in Calcutta, but my calculation was from the experience of Calcutta ten or twelve years ago. Since then the prices have gone up three or four times.
The work has been started anyhow. A rickety old little house has been rented for six or seven shillings, where about twenty-four young men are being trained. I had to go to Darjeeling for a month to recover my health, and I am glad to tell you I am very much better, and would you believe it, without taking any medicine, only by the exercise of mental healing! I am going again to another hill station tomorrow, as it is very hot in the plains. Your society is still living, I am sure. I will send you a report, as least every month, of the work done here. The London work is not doing well at all, I hear, and that was the main reason why I would not come to England just now--although some of our Rajas going for the Jubilee tried their best to get me with them--as I would have to work hard again to revive the interest in Vedanta. And that would mean a good deal more trouble physically.
I may come over for a month or so very soon however. Only if I could see my work started here, how gladly and freely would I travel about!
So far about work. Now about you personally. Such love and faith and devotion and appreciation like yours, dear Miss Noble, repays a hundred times over any amount of labour one undergoes in this life. May all blessings be yours. My whole life is at your service, as we may say in our mother tongue.
It never was and never will be anything but very very welcome, any letters from you and other friends in England. Mr. and Mrs. Hammond wrote two very kind and nice letters and Mr. Hammond a beautiful poem in The Brahmavadin , although I did not deserve it a bit. I will write to you again from the Himalayas, where thought will be clear in sight of the snows and the nerves more settled than in this burning plains. Miss Muller is already in Almora. Mr. and Mrs. Sevier go to Simla. They have been in Darjeeling so long. So things come and go, dear friend. Only the Lord is unchangeable and He is Love. May He make our heart His eternal habitation is the constant prayer of,
Vivekananda.
XCV
To Sister Nivedita
Almora
20th June, 1897.
My Dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
. . . Let me tell you plainly. Every word you write I value, and every letter is welcome a hundred times.Write whenever you have a mind and opportunity, and whatever you like, knowing that nothing will be misinterpreted, nothing unappreciated. I have not had any news of the work for so long. Can you tell me anything? I do not expect any help from India, in spite of all the jubilating over me. They are so poor!
But I have started work in the fashion in which I myself was trained--that is to say, under the trees, and keeping body and soul together anyhow. The plan has also changed a little. I have sent some of my boys to work in the famine districts. It has acted like a miracle. I find, as I always thought, that it is through the heart, and that alone, that the world can be reached. The present plan is, therefore, to train up numbers of young men (from the highest classes, not the lowest. For the latter I shall have to wait a little), and the first attack will be made by sending a number of them over a district. When these sappers and miners of religion have cleared the way, there will then be time enough to put in theory and philosophy.
A number of boys are already in training, but the recent earthquake has destroyed the poor shelter we had to work in, which was only rented, anyway. Never mind. The work must be done without shelter and under difficulties. . . . As yet it is shaven heads, rags, and casual meals. This must change, however, and will, for are we not working for it, head and heart? . . .
It is true in one way that the people here have so little to give up--yet renunciation is in our blood. One of my boys in training has been an executive engineer, in charge of a district. That means a very big position here. He gave it up like straw! . . .
With all love,
Yours in the Truth,
Vivekananda.
XCVI
To Sister Nivedita
Almora,
4th July, 1897.
My Dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
I am being played upon curiously by both good and evil influences from London these times here. . . . On the other hand, your letters are full of life and sunshine, and bring strength and hope to my spirits, and they sadly want these now. God knows.
Although I am still in the Himalayas, and shall be here for at least a month more, I started the work in Calcutta before I came, and they write progress every week.
Just now I am very busy with the famine, and except for training a number of young men for future work, have not been able to put more energy into the teaching work. The "feeding work" is absorbing all my energy and means. Although we can work only on a very small scale as yet, the effect is marvellous. For the first time since the days of Buddha, Brahmin boys are found nursing by the bed-side of cholera-stricken pariahs.
In India, lectures and teaching cannot do any good. What we want is Dynamic Religion. And that, "God willing", as the Mohammedans say, I am determined to show. . . . I entirely agree with the prospectus of your Society, and you may take for granted my agreement with everything you will do in the future. I have entire faith in your ability and sympathy. I already owe you an immense debt, and you are laying me every day under infinite obligations. My only consolation is that it is for the good of others. Else I do not deserve in the least the wonderful kindness shown to me by the Wimbledon friends. You good, steady, genuine English people, may the Lord always bless you. I appreciate you every day more and more from a distance. Kindly convey my love everlasting to__ and all the rest of our friends there.
With all love, yours ever in the Truth,
Vivekananda.
Epistles (fourth series)
CXIII
To Sister Nivedita
Jammu
3rd November, 1897.
My Dear Miss Noble {Nivedita},
. . . Too much sentiment hurts work. "Hard as steel and soft as a flower" is the motto.
I shall soon write to Sturdy. He is right to tell you that in case of trouble I will stand by you. You will have the whole of it if I find a piece of bread in India--you may rest assured of that. I am going to write to Sturdy from Lahore, for which I start tomorrow. I have been here for 15 days to get some land in Kashmir from the Maharaja. I intend to go to Kashmir again next summer, if I am here, and start some work there.
With everlasting love,
Yours,
Vivekananda.
CLXXIX
To Sister Nivedita
2nd May, 1900.
My Dear Nivedita,
I have been very ill--one more relapse brought about by months of hard work. Well, it has shown me that I have no kidney or heart disease whatsoever, only overworked nerves. I am, therefore, going today in the country for some days till I completely recover, which I am sure will be in a few days.
In the meanwhile I do not want to read any India letters with the plague news etc. My mail is coming to Mary; either she or you keep them (you, if she goes away) till I return.
I am going to throw off all worry, and glory unto Mother.
Mrs. C. P. Huntington, a very, very wealthy lady, who has helped me, came; wants to see and help you. She will be in New York by the first of June. Do not go away without seeing her. If I cannot come early enough, I will send you an introduction to her.
Give my love to Mary. I am leaving here in a few days.
Ever yours with blessings,
Vivekananda.
PS. The accompanying letter is to introduce you to Mrs. M. C. Adams, wife of Judge Adams. Go to see her immediately. Much good may come out of it. She is well known; find out her address.
V.
CLXXX
To Sister Nivedita
San Francisco,
26th May, 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
All blessings on you. Don't despond in the least. Shri wah Guru! Shri wah Guru! You come of the blood of a Kshatriya. Our yellow garb is the robe of death on the field of battle. Death for the cause is our goal, not success. Shri wah Guru! . . .
Black and thick are the folds of sinister fate. But I am the master. I raise my hand, and lo, they vanish! All this is nonsense. And fear? I am the Fear of fear, the Terror of terror, I am the fearless secondless One, I am the Rule of destiny, the Wiper-out of fact. Shri wah Guru! Steady, child, don't be bought by gold or anything else, and we win!
Vivekananda.
Epistles (fifth series)
C
To Sister Nivedita
14, Greycoat Gardens
Westminster
October 29, 1896
Dear Miss [Margaret] Noble--
I will be at yours on Friday next, at 4 p.m.
I did not know of any arrangements made to meet anybody Friday last, hence my absence.
Yours,
Vivekananda
CI
To Sister Nivedita
14, Greycoat Gardens
Westminster, S.W.
5 December 1896
Dear Miss Noble--
Many thanks for sending the kind present from Mr. Beatty. I have written to him acknowledging his beautiful gift.
As for you, my dear, noble, kind friend, I only would say this--we Indians lack in many things, but there is none on earth to beat us in gratefulness. I remain,
Ever yours gratefully,
Vivekananda
CVIII
To Sister Nivedita
Darjeeling,
3rd April 1897.
Dear Miss Noble,
I have just found a bit of important work for you to do on behalf of the downtrodden masses of India.
The gentleman I take the liberty of introducing to you is in England on behalf of the Tiyas, a plebeian caste in the native State of Malabar.
You will realize from this gentleman what an amount of tyranny there is over these poor people, simply because of their caste.
The Indian Government has refused to interfere on grounds of non-interference in the internal administration of a native State. The only hope of these people is the English Parliament. Do kindly everything in your power to help this matter [in] being brought before the British Public.
Ever yours in the truth,
Vivekananda.
CXVII
To Sister Nivedita
Calcutta
30th January 1898
My dear Miss Noble,
This is to introduce Prof. M. Gupta, 123 who has been already introduced to you on board the boat that brought you over to shore.
He has very kindly consented to devote an hour or more every day to teach you Bengali. I need not state that he is a genuine, good and great soul.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda
P.S. I am afraid you felt badly today.
V.
CXIX
To Sister Nivedita
Math, Belur.
Howrah, Bengal.
16th March 1898.
My dear Margaret,
It is needless to let you know, you have fulfilled all my expectations in your last lecture.
It appears to me that the platform is the great field where you will be of great help to me, apart from your educational plans. I am glad to learn that Miss [Henrietta] Mller is going to have a place on the river. Are you also going to Darjeeling? So you will all the better work after a trip up there! Next season I am planning a series of lectures for you all over India.
Ever yours with all love and blessings,
[Stamp with Swamiji's portrait]
The Calcutta Boy.
CXXX
To Sister Nivedita
3 p.m. Sunday.
[Early 1899]
My dear Margot,
I am sorry I cannot come to see Dr. Mahoney 130 --I am ill. I have not yet broken my fast.
Have you stopped teaching my little cousin?
Yours with love,
Vivekananda.
CXXXI
To Sister Nivedita
[Early 1899?]
My dear Nivedita,
The address of my cousin is 127 Manicktala Street. The husband's name is Durga Prasanna Bose. The wife's name is most probably not known to the people you will meet in the male department. Therefore it is the custom to ask for the wife of so-and-so.
Manicktala Street is that which runs east and west, south of the tank garden.
Yours with love,
Vivekananda
CXXXV
To Sister Nivedita
The Math, Belur,
1899
My dear Margot,
Will you look into your trunks for a Sanskrit book of mine, which was, you know, in your keeping in Kashmir. I do not find it in our library here.
I have been thinking of your friend Miss [Sarala] Ghosal's coming to see the Math on Sunday. The difficulty is here. The ebb tide will be on till 5 p.m. In that case our big boat can go down easily to bring the party up; and going back, if the party starts long before 5 p.m., say 4 p.m., will be all right. To come up will take at least two hours from Baghbazar. If the party starts from Baghbazar--say at 12 a.m.--and reaches the Math at 2 p.m. for lunch and then starts back by 4 p.m., it will be nice.
If you cannot start as early as that, I will advise you to send the carriage to wait at Baranagore on the other side so that our boat can ferry the party over any time they like. The boat journey in that case will only be on coming.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda
CXXXVII
To Sister Nivedita
The Math, Belur,
April 25th, 1899
My dear Margot,
I could not come today. I am so, so sorry. The body would not allow--neither can I come to the Boses'. 132 I have written to them.
I have an engagement tomorrow.
Possibly I may see you in the evening.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda
CLVII
To Sister Nivedita
The California Limited
Santa Fe Route
December 2nd, 1899
My dear Margot,
Two nights are passed--today the third will come. If it proves as pleasant and somnolent as the last two, I [shall] rejoice.
"The scenery today I am passing through is much like the neighborhood of Delhi, the beginning of a big desert, bleak hills, scanty, thorny shrubs, very little water. The little streams are frozen, but during the middle of the day it is hot. Must be [illegible] I presume, in summer.
I send this to the care of Mrs. Adams, as I don't know your address. The Chicago work will not give you much, I am sure, exce pt in education in the methods here, which I am sure will work ou t soon.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda
CLXII
To Sister Nivedita
Los Angeles
[Early February 1900]
Dear Margo [Margot],
You have the Gopala. 146 Add the Savitri story 147 to that. I send you four more herewith. They ought to make a nice volume. Work on them a bit, will you. If you get a publisher in Chicago, all right; if not, Mr. Leggett promised to publish them sometime ago.
Yours,
Vivekananda
P.S. The preliminary parts should be struck off.
CLXVI
To Sister Nivedita
C/o Dr. Logan,
770 Oak Street,
San Francisco, California,
17th May [1900].
Dear Margot,
I am sorry, I cannot come to Chicago yet for a few days. The doctor (Dr. Logan) says I must not undertake a journey till completely strong. He is bent on making me strong. My stomach is very, very good and nerves fine. I am getting on. A few days more and I will be all right. I received your letter with the enclosed.
If you leave for New York soon, take my mail with you. I am coming to New York direct. If you leave New York before I leave, put my mail in a cover and deposit with Turiyananda, and tell him to keep it for me and not to open it on any account, nor any one of my Indian letters. Turiyananda will take charge. Also see that my clothes and books are at the Vedanta Society's rooms in New York.
I will write you more soon--an introduction to Mrs. Huntington. 153 This affair should be private.
With love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
P.S. As I have got to stop at Chicago for my ticket, will you ask anybody to take me in for a day or two, if Mrs. Hale is gone East by that time?
V.
CLXVII
To Sister Nivedita
770 Oak Street,
San Francisco, California,
18th May 1900.
Dear Margot,
Enclosed find the letter of introduction to Mrs. Huntington. She can, if she likes, make your school a fact with one stroke of her pen. May Mother make her do it!
I am afraid I will have to go direct to New York, as by that time the Hales will be off. I cannot start for two weeks at least yet. Give the Hales my love.
With love and blessings,
Yours,
Vivekananda.
P.S. I received your letter, including Yum's [Miss Josephine MacLeod's].
V.
CLXXXII
To Sister Nivedita
6, Place des Etats Unis,
Paris,
23rd August 1900.
Dear Nivedita,
The manuscript accounts of the Math just reached. It is delightful reading. I am so pleased with it.
I am going to print a thousand or more to be distributed in England, America and India. I will only add a begging paragraph in the end.
What do you think the cost will be?
With love to you and Mrs. Bull,
Vivekananda.
CLXXXVIII
To Sister Nivedita
[On a picture postcard showing dervishes and local fish merchants, Swami Vivekananda wrote the following note.]
[Postmarked: Constantinople
November 1, 1900]
Dear Margo [Margot], the blessings of the howling dervishes go with you--Yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
P.S. All love to Mrs. Bull.
V.
CXCIII
To Sister Nivedita
The Math, Belur,
Howrah District, Bengal,
4th April 1901.
Dear Margot,
A letter came just now from Mr. R. Dutt [Ramesh Dutta] praising you and your work in England very much and asking me to wish you to stop longer in England.
It requires no imagination to learn that I am overjoyed at all the news about you Mr. Dutt so kindly sends.
Of course, you stay as long as you think you are working well. Yum [Miss Josephine MacLeod] had some talk about you with Mother [Holy Mother, Sarada Devi], and she desired you to come over. Of course, it was only her love and anxiety to see you--that was all; but poor Yum has been much too serious for once, and hence all these letters. However, I am glad it should happen, as I learnt so much about your work from Mr. Dutt, who can't be accused of a relative's blind love.
I have written to Mrs. Bull already about this matter. I am now at last in Dacca and had some lectures here. I depart for Chandranath tomorrow, near Chittagong, the farthest eastern extremity of Bengal. My Mother, aunt, cousin, another cousin's widow, and nine boys are with me. They all send you love.
I had just now a few lines from Mrs. Bull, also a letter from Mr. Sturdy. As it would be almost impossible for me to write for some days now, I ask you to thank Mrs. Bull for me for her letter, and tell her kindly that I have just now a long letter from Miss [Christina] Greenstidel of Detroit. She mentions a beautiful letter from Mrs. Bull. Sturdy writes about the publication of any further edition of Raja-Yoga by Longmans. I leave that consideration with Mrs. Bull. She may talk over the matter with Sturdy and do what she thinks proper.
Please give Sturdy my best love, and tell him I am on the march and will take time to reply to his letter; in the meanwhile the business will be looked after by Mrs. Bull.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
CCVII
To Sister Nivedita
The Math,
P.O. Belur, Howrah,
12th November 1901.
My dear Margo [Margot],
Since the Durga Puja I have been very ill, and so could not reply to your letter earlier.
We had a grand Puja here of Durga, lasting nearly four days; but, alas, I was down with fever all the time.
We had a grand image, and a huge Puja it was. Then we had the Lakshmi Puja following close, and then night before yesterday, we had the Kali Puja. It is always after midnight--this Puja. I am better now, and we will find a house for you as soon as you come.
I am so glad you are accompanying Mrs. [Ole] Bull. She requires all care; and she always thinks of herself the last. Joe [Miss Josephine MacLeod] is coming to India shortly--at Christmas time with some Japanese friends. I am expected to meet her in Madras.
I am going off to the N.W.P. [North-Western Provinces] etc. soon, as Bengal is malarious--now that the rains are over.
Mrs. Bull has been a mother to us all, and any time and service spent for her is as nothing to what she has been doing for us all. Remain with her as long as she wants you--the work can wait well; "Mother" sees to her work. We needn't be anxious.
By the by, Miss [Henrietta] Mller is here in Calcutta. She wrote a letter to Akhandananda, with whom she has been in regular correspondence--care of the Math. So I sent some flowers and fruits and a letter of welcome to her hotel. I have not had a reply yet.
Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier, I expect, has already started. Swarupananda had his heart weakened by the constant uphill and downhill. He is here and improving.
Things are going on well with us, slowly but surely. The boys of late have been very active, and it is work only that tells and nothing else.
Yours with all love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
CCXVIII
To Sister Nivedita
Gopal Lal Villa,
Benares Cantonment,
4th March 1902.
My dear Margo [Margot],
It is night now, and I can hardly sit up or write, yet still feel duty bound to write to you this letter, fearing lest it becomes my last, it may put others to trouble.
My condition is not at all serious, but it may become [so] any time; and I don't know what is meant by a low fever that almost never leaves me and the difficulty of breathing.
Well, I sent Christina [Greenstidel] 100 from Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier for a travel to India, as she lost her mother at that time. Her last letter informs me that she sails on February 15th. In that case, her reaching India is very near. I expect, of course, some information as to the port and steamer next week. In case I pass away, which I would like very much to do in this city of Shiva, do you open her letters directed to me, receive the girl, and send her back home. If she has no money to go back, give her a passage--even if you have to beg.
I have spent the little money I brought from Europe in feeding my mother and paying her debts. What little remains I cannot touch, as that is the expense for the pending lawsuit.
In case I rally, I will inform you of the time of her arrival, and, in that case, you will have to see that she comes in safe to some station in Bareilly, where I [will] meet her. And she is to be the guest of Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier. I am also going to take another chance in Almora.
Ramakrishnananda came a few weeks before I came away, and the first thing he did was to lay down at my feet 400 Rs. he had collected in so many years of hard work!!! It was the first time such a thing has happened in my life. I can scarcely suppress my tears. Oh, Mother!! Mother! There is not all gratitude, all love, all manliness dead!!! And, dear child, one is enough
--one seed is enough to reforest the world.
Well, that money is in deposit in the Math. I never mean to touch a penny of that. When I asked Ramakrishnananda to give that money to his people, he replied he did not care a hang to give to anybody except me and was only sorry he could scrape that little in four years! Well, if I pass away, see that 400 Rs. is paid back--every rupee to him. Lord bless you and Ramakrish-nananda.
I am quite satisfied with my work. To have left two true souls is beyond the ambition of the greatest.
Ever your loving father,
Vivekananda.
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