Epistles (second series)
Margot
CXLI
ALMORA,
20th May, 1898.
Dear Margot, 67
. . . Duty has no end, and the world is extremely selfish.
Be of good cheer. "Never a worker of good came to grief." ...
Ever yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXLIII
Kashmir,
25th Aug., 1898.
Dear Margot,
It is a lazy life I am leading for the last two months, floating leisurely in a boat, which is also my home, up and down the beautiful Jhelum, through the most gorgeous scenery God's world can afford, in nature's own park, where the earth, air, land, grass, plants, trees, mountains, snows, and the human form, all express, on the outside at least, the beauty of the Lord -- with almost no possessions, scarcely a pen or an inkstand even, snatching up a meal whenever or wherever convenient, the very ideal of a Rip Van Winkle! ... Do not work yourself out. It is no use; always remember -- "Duty is the midday sun whose fierce rays are burning the very vitals of humanity." It is necessary for a time as a discipline; beyond that, it is a morbid dream. Things go on all right whether we lend them our helping hands or not. We in delusion only break ourselves. There is a false sentiment which goes the extreme of unselfishness, only to injure others by its submission to every evil. We have no right to make others selfishly by our unselfishness; have we? ...
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXLVIII
Ridgely,
1st Nov., 1899.
Dear Margot,
. . . It seems there is a gloom over your mind. Never mind,
nothing is to last for ever. Anyhow life is not eternal. I am so, so thankful for it. Suffering is the lot of the world's best and bravest -- yet, for aeons yet -- till things are righted, if possible here -- at least it is a discipline which breaks the dream. In my sane moments I rejoice for my sufferings. Some one must suffer here; -- I am glad it is I, amongst others of nature's sacrifices.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXLIX
New York,
15th Nov., 1898.
Dear Margot,
. . . On the whole I don't think there is any cause for
anxiety about my body. This sort of nervous body is just the instrument to play great music at times and at times to moan in darkness.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLI
421, 21st Street, Los Angels,
23rd December 1899.
My Dear Margot,
Yes, I am really getting well under the manipulation of magnetic healing! At any rate I am all right. There was never anything serious with my organs -- it was nerves and dyspepsia.
Now I walk miles every day, at any time -- before or after meals. I am perfectly well -- and am going to remain so, I am sure.The wheel is turning up, Mother is working it up. She cannot let me go before Her work is done -- and that is the secret.See, how England is working up. After this blood-letting, 69 people will than have time of thinking better and higher things than "war", "war", "war". That is our opportunity. We run in quick, get hold of them by the dozens and then set the Indian work in full swing.
I pray that England will lose Cape Colony, so that she will be able to concentrate her energy in India. These capes and promontories never are of any use to England except in puffing up a false pride and costing her hordes in money and blood.
Things are looking up. So get ready. With all love to the four sisters and to you.
VIVEKANANDA.
CLII
Los Angels, California,
24th Jan., 1900.
Dear Margot,
I am afraid that the rest and peace I seek for will never come. But Mother does good to others through me, at least some to my native land, and it is easier to be reconciled to one's fate as a sacrifice. We are all sacrifices -- each in his own way. The great worship is going on -- no one can see its meaning except that it is a great sacrifice. Those that are willing escape a lot of pain. Those who resist are broken into submission and suffer more. I am now determined to be a willing one.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLVII
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco,
28th March 1900.
My Dear Margot,
I am so glad at your good fortune. Things have got to come round if we are steady. I am sure you will get all the money you require here or in England.
I am working hard; and the harder I work, the better I feel.This ill health has done me a great good, sure. I am really understanding what non-attachment means. And I hope very soon to be perfectly non-attached.
We put all our energies to concentrate and get attached to one thing; but the other part, though equally difficult, we seldom pay any attention to -- the faculty of detaching ourselves at a moment's notice from anything.
Both attachment and detachment perfectly developed make a man great and happy.
I am so glad at Mrs. Legget's gift of $ 1000. She is working up, wait. She has a great part to play in Ramakrishna's work, whether she knows it or not.
I enjoyed your accounts of Prof. Geddes, and Joe has a funny account of a lairvoyant. Things are just now beginning toturn. ...
This letter, I think will reach you at Chicago. ...
I had a nice letter from Max Gysic, the young Swiss who is a great friend of Miss Souter. Miss Souter also sends her love, and they ask to know the time when I come over to England. Many people are inquiring, they say.
Things have got to come round -- the seed must die underground to come up as the tree. The last two years were the underground rotting. I never had a struggle in the jaws of death, but it meant a tremendous upheaval of the whole life. One such brought me to Ramakrishna, another sent me to the U.S., this has been the greatest of all. It is gone -- I am so calm that it astonishes me sometimes!! I work every day morning and evening, eat anything any hour -- and go to bed at 12 p.m. in the night -- but such fine sleep!! I never had such power of sleeping before!
Yours with all love and blessings,
VIVEKANANDA.
XLVII
Los Angeles
6th Dec., 1899.
Dear Margot {Nivedita},
Your sixth has arrived, but with it yet no change in my fortune. Would change be any good, do you think? Some people are made that way, to love being miserable. If I did not break my heart over people I was born amongst, I would do it for somebody else. I am sure of that. This is the way of some, I am coming to see it. We are all after happiness, true, but that some are only happy in being unhappy queer, is it not? There is no harm in it either, except that happiness and unhappiness are both infectious. Ingersoll said once that if he were God, he would make health catching, instead of disease, little dreaming that health is quite as catching as disease, if not more! That is the only danger. No harm in the world in my being happy, in being miserable, but others must not catch it. This is the great fact. No sooner a prophet feels miserable for the state of man than he sours his face, beats his breast, and calls upon everyone to drink tartaric acid, munch charcoal, sit upon a dung?heap covered with ashes, and speak only in groans and tears! I find they all have been wanting. Yes, they have. If you are really ready to take the world's burden, take it by all means. But do not let us hear your groans and curses. Do not frighten us with your sufferings, so that we came to feel we were better off with our own burdens. The man who really takes the burden blesses the world and goes his own way. He has not a word of condemnation, a word of criticism, not because there was no evil but that he has taken it on his own shoulders willingly, voluntarily. It is the Saviour who should "go his way rejoicing, and not the saved".
This is the only light I have caught this morning. This is enough if it has come to live with me and permeate my life.
Come ye that are heavy laden and lay all your burden on me, and then do whatever you like and be happy and forget that I ever existed.
Ever with love,
Your father,
Vivekananda.
Epistles (third series)
XLVII
Los Angeles
6th Dec., 1899.
Dear Margot {Nivedita},
Your sixth has arrived, but with it yet no change in my fortune. Would change be any good, do you think? Some people are made that way, to love being miserable. If I did not break my heart over people I was born amongst, I would do it for somebody else. I am sure of that. This is the way of some, I am coming to see it. We are all after happiness, true, but that some are only happy in being unhappy--queer, is it not? There is no harm in it either, except that happiness and unhappiness are both infectious. Ingersoll said once that if he were God, he would make health catching, instead of disease, little dreaming that health is quite as catching as disease, if not more! That is the only danger. No harm in the world in my being happy, in being miserable, but others must not catch it. This is the great fact. No sooner a prophet feels miserable for the state of man than he sours his face, beats his breast, and calls upon everyone to drink tartaric acid, munch charcoal, sit upon a dung-heap covered with ashes, and speak only in groans and tears!--I find they all have been wanting. Yes, they have. If you are really ready to take the world's burden, take it by all means. But do not let us hear your groans and curses. Do not frighten us with your sufferings, so that we came to feel we were better off with our own burdens. The man who really takes the burden blesses the world and goes his own way. He has not a word of condemnation, a word of criticism, not because there was no evil but that he has taken it on his own shoulders willingly, voluntarily. It is the Saviour who should "go his way rejoicing, and not the saved".
This is the only light I have caught this morning. This is enough if it has come to live with me and permeate my life.
Come ye that are heavy laden and lay all your burden on me, and then do whatever you like and be happy and forget that I ever existed.
Ever with love,
Your father,
Vivekananda.
Epistles (fourth series)
CX
To Sister Nivedita
Srinagar, Kashmir,
1st October, 1897.
Dear Margo {Nivedita},
Some people do the best work when led . Not every one is born to lead . The best leader, however, is one who "leads like the baby". The baby, though apparently depending on everyone, is the king of the household. At least, to my thinking, that is the secret. . . . Many feel, but only a few can express. It is the power of expressing one's love and appreciation and sympathy for others, that enables one person to succeed better in spreading the idea than others. . . .
I shall not try to describe Kashmir to you. Suffice it to say, I never felt sorry to leave any country except this Paradise on earth; and I am trying my best, if I can, to influence the Raja in starting a centre. So much to do here, and the material so hopeful! . . .
The great difficulty is this: I see persons giving me almost the whole of their love. But I must not give anyone the whole of mine in return, for that day the work would be ruined. Yet there are some who will look for such a return, not having the breadth of the impersonal view. It is absolutely necessary to the work that I should have the enthusiastic love of as many as possible, while I myself remain entirely impersonal. Otherwise jealousy and quarrels would break up everything. A leader must be impersonal. I am sure you understand this. I do not mean that one should be a brute, making use of the devotion of others for his own ends, and laughing in his sleeve meanwhile. What I mean is what I am, intensely personal in my love, but having the power to pluck out my own heart with my own hand, if it becomes necessary, "for the good of many, for the welfare of many", as Buddha said. Madness of love, and yet in it no bondage. Matter changed into spirit by the force of love. Nay, that is the gist of our Vedanta. There is but One, seen by the ignorant as matter, by the wise as God. And the history of civilisation is the progressive reading of spirit into matter. The ignorant see the person in the non-person. The sage sees the non-person in the person. Through pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow, this is the one lesson we are learning. . . .
Yours ever with love and truth,
Vivekananda.
CLXXI
To Sister Nivedita
U.S.A.
6th April, 1900.
Dear Margot {Nivedita},
Glad you have returned. Gladder you are going to Paris. I shall go to Paris of course, only don't know when. Mrs. Leggett thinks I ought to immediately, and take up studying French. Well, take what comes. So you do too.
Finish your books, and in Paris we are going to conquer the Froggies. How is Mary? Give her my love. My work here is done. I will come in fifteen days to Chicago if Mary is there. She is going away to the East soon. With blessings,
Vivekananda.
PS. The mind is omnipresent and can be heard and felt anywhere.
V.
Epistles (fifth series)
CXXX
To Sister Nivedita
3 p.m. Sunday.
[Early 1899]
My dear Margot,
I am sorry I cannot come to see Dr. Mahoney 130 --I am ill. I have not yet broken my fast.
Have you stopped teaching my little cousin?
Yours with love,
Vivekananda.
CXXXV
To Sister Nivedita
The Math, Belur,
1899
My dear Margot,
Will you look into your trunks for a Sanskrit book of mine, which was, you know, in your keeping in Kashmir. I do not find it in our library here.
I have been thinking of your friend Miss [Sarala] Ghosal's coming to see the Math on Sunday. The difficulty is here. The ebb tide will be on till 5 p.m. In that case our big boat can go down easily to bring the party up; and going back, if the party starts long before 5 p.m., say 4 p.m., will be all right. To come up will take at least two hours from Baghbazar. If the party starts from Baghbazar--say at 12 a.m.--and reaches the Math at 2 p.m. for lunch and then starts back by 4 p.m., it will be nice.
If you cannot start as early as that, I will advise you to send the carriage to wait at Baranagore on the other side so that our boat can ferry the party over any time they like. The boat journey in that case will only be on coming.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda
CXXXVII
To Sister Nivedita
The Math, Belur,
April 25th, 1899
My dear Margot,
I could not come today. I am so, so sorry. The body would not allow--neither can I come to the Boses'. 132 I have written to them.
I have an engagement tomorrow.
Possibly I may see you in the evening.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda
CLVII
To Sister Nivedita
The California Limited
Santa Fe Route
December 2nd, 1899
My dear Margot,
Two nights are passed--today the third will come. If it proves as pleasant and somnolent as the last two, I [shall] rejoice.
"The scenery today I am passing through is much like the neighborhood of Delhi, the beginning of a big desert, bleak hills, scanty, thorny shrubs, very little water. The little streams are frozen, but during the middle of the day it is hot. Must be [illegible] I presume, in summer.
I send this to the care of Mrs. Adams, as I don't know your address. The Chicago work will not give you much, I am sure, exce pt in education in the methods here, which I am sure will work ou t soon.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda
CLXII
To Sister Nivedita
Los Angeles
[Early February 1900]
Dear Margo [Margot],
You have the Gopala. 146 Add the Savitri story 147 to that. I send you four more herewith. They ought to make a nice volume. Work on them a bit, will you. If you get a publisher in Chicago, all right; if not, Mr. Leggett promised to publish them sometime ago.
Yours,
Vivekananda
P.S. The preliminary parts should be struck off.
CLXVI
To Sister Nivedita
C/o Dr. Logan,
770 Oak Street,
San Francisco, California,
17th May [1900].
Dear Margot,
I am sorry, I cannot come to Chicago yet for a few days. The doctor (Dr. Logan) says I must not undertake a journey till completely strong. He is bent on making me strong. My stomach is very, very good and nerves fine. I am getting on. A few days more and I will be all right. I received your letter with the enclosed.
If you leave for New York soon, take my mail with you. I am coming to New York direct. If you leave New York before I leave, put my mail in a cover and deposit with Turiyananda, and tell him to keep it for me and not to open it on any account, nor any one of my Indian letters. Turiyananda will take charge. Also see that my clothes and books are at the Vedanta Society's rooms in New York.
I will write you more soon--an introduction to Mrs. Huntington. 153 This affair should be private.
With love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
P.S. As I have got to stop at Chicago for my ticket, will you ask anybody to take me in for a day or two, if Mrs. Hale is gone East by that time?
V.
CLXVII
To Sister Nivedita
770 Oak Street,
San Francisco, California,
18th May 1900.
Dear Margot,
Enclosed find the letter of introduction to Mrs. Huntington. She can, if she likes, make your school a fact with one stroke of her pen. May Mother make her do it!
I am afraid I will have to go direct to New York, as by that time the Hales will be off. I cannot start for two weeks at least yet. Give the Hales my love.
With love and blessings,
Yours,
Vivekananda.
P.S. I received your letter, including Yum's [Miss Josephine MacLeod's].
V.
CLXXXVIII
To Sister Nivedita
[On a picture postcard showing dervishes and local fish merchants, Swami Vivekananda wrote the following note.]
[Postmarked: Constantinople
November 1, 1900]
Dear Margo [Margot], the blessings of the howling dervishes go with you--Yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
P.S. All love to Mrs. Bull.
V.
CXCIII
To Sister Nivedita
The Math, Belur,
Howrah District, Bengal,
4th April 1901.
Dear Margot,
A letter came just now from Mr. R. Dutt [Ramesh Dutta] praising you and your work in England very much and asking me to wish you to stop longer in England.
It requires no imagination to learn that I am overjoyed at all the news about you Mr. Dutt so kindly sends.
Of course, you stay as long as you think you are working well. Yum [Miss Josephine MacLeod] had some talk about you with Mother [Holy Mother, Sarada Devi], and she desired you to come over. Of course, it was only her love and anxiety to see you--that was all; but poor Yum has been much too serious for once, and hence all these letters. However, I am glad it should happen, as I learnt so much about your work from Mr. Dutt, who can't be accused of a relative's blind love.
I have written to Mrs. Bull already about this matter. I am now at last in Dacca and had some lectures here. I depart for Chandranath tomorrow, near Chittagong, the farthest eastern extremity of Bengal. My Mother, aunt, cousin, another cousin's widow, and nine boys are with me. They all send you love.
I had just now a few lines from Mrs. Bull, also a letter from Mr. Sturdy. As it would be almost impossible for me to write for some days now, I ask you to thank Mrs. Bull for me for her letter, and tell her kindly that I have just now a long letter from Miss [Christina] Greenstidel of Detroit. She mentions a beautiful letter from Mrs. Bull. Sturdy writes about the publication of any further edition of Raja-Yoga by Longmans. I leave that consideration with Mrs. Bull. She may talk over the matter with Sturdy and do what she thinks proper.
Please give Sturdy my best love, and tell him I am on the march and will take time to reply to his letter; in the meanwhile the business will be looked after by Mrs. Bull.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
CCVII
To Sister Nivedita
The Math,
P.O. Belur, Howrah,
12th November 1901.
My dear Margo [Margot],
Since the Durga Puja I have been very ill, and so could not reply to your letter earlier.
We had a grand Puja here of Durga, lasting nearly four days; but, alas, I was down with fever all the time.
We had a grand image, and a huge Puja it was. Then we had the Lakshmi Puja following close, and then night before yesterday, we had the Kali Puja. It is always after midnight--this Puja. I am better now, and we will find a house for you as soon as you come.
I am so glad you are accompanying Mrs. [Ole] Bull. She requires all care; and she always thinks of herself the last. Joe [Miss Josephine MacLeod] is coming to India shortly--at Christmas time with some Japanese friends. I am expected to meet her in Madras.
I am going off to the N.W.P. [North-Western Provinces] etc. soon, as Bengal is malarious--now that the rains are over.
Mrs. Bull has been a mother to us all, and any time and service spent for her is as nothing to what she has been doing for us all. Remain with her as long as she wants you--the work can wait well; "Mother" sees to her work. We needn't be anxious.
By the by, Miss [Henrietta] Mller is here in Calcutta. She wrote a letter to Akhandananda, with whom she has been in regular correspondence--care of the Math. So I sent some flowers and fruits and a letter of welcome to her hotel. I have not had a reply yet.
Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier, I expect, has already started. Swarupananda had his heart weakened by the constant uphill and downhill. He is here and improving.
Things are going on well with us, slowly but surely. The boys of late have been very active, and it is work only that tells and nothing else.
Yours with all love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
CCXVIII
To Sister Nivedita
Gopal Lal Villa,
Benares Cantonment,
4th March 1902.
My dear Margo [Margot],
It is night now, and I can hardly sit up or write, yet still feel duty bound to write to you this letter, fearing lest it becomes my last, it may put others to trouble.
My condition is not at all serious, but it may become [so] any time; and I don't know what is meant by a low fever that almost never leaves me and the difficulty of breathing.
Well, I sent Christina [Greenstidel] 100 from Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier for a travel to India, as she lost her mother at that time. Her last letter informs me that she sails on February 15th. In that case, her reaching India is very near. I expect, of course, some information as to the port and steamer next week. In case I pass away, which I would like very much to do in this city of Shiva, do you open her letters directed to me, receive the girl, and send her back home. If she has no money to go back, give her a passage--even if you have to beg.
I have spent the little money I brought from Europe in feeding my mother and paying her debts. What little remains I cannot touch, as that is the expense for the pending lawsuit.
In case I rally, I will inform you of the time of her arrival, and, in that case, you will have to see that she comes in safe to some station in Bareilly, where I [will] meet her. And she is to be the guest of Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier. I am also going to take another chance in Almora.
Ramakrishnananda came a few weeks before I came away, and the first thing he did was to lay down at my feet 400 Rs. he had collected in so many years of hard work!!! It was the first time such a thing has happened in my life. I can scarcely suppress my tears. Oh, Mother!! Mother! There is not all gratitude, all love, all manliness dead!!! And, dear child, one is enough
--one seed is enough to reforest the world.
Well, that money is in deposit in the Math. I never mean to touch a penny of that. When I asked Ramakrishnananda to give that money to his people, he replied he did not care a hang to give to anybody except me and was only sorry he could scrape that little in four years! Well, if I pass away, see that 400 Rs. is paid back--every rupee to him. Lord bless you and Ramakrish-nananda.
I am quite satisfied with my work. To have left two true souls is beyond the ambition of the greatest.
Ever your loving father,
Vivekananda.
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