Epistles (first series)

Christine

The Math, Belur
6th July, 1901
Dear Christine,

Things come to me by fits--today I am in a fit of writing. The first thing to do is, therefore, to pen a few lines to you. I am known to be nervous, I worry much; but it seems, dear Christine, you are not far behind in that trick. One of our poets says, "Even the mountains will fly, the fire will be cold, yet the heart of the great will never change." I am small, very, but I know you are great, and my faith is always in your true heart. I worry about everything except you. I have dedicated you to the Mother. She is your shield, your guide. No harm can reach you--nothing hold you down a minute. I know it.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda

 

Epistles (fourth series)

CXCV
To Sister Christine
6 Place Des Etats Unis,
Paris,
14th October, 1900.
{original in French}
God bless you at each step, my dear Christine, such is my constant prayer!
Your letter, so beautiful and so calm, has given me that fresh energy which I am often losing.
I am happy, yes, I am happy, but the cloud has not left me entirely. It sometimes comes back, unfortunately, but it no longer has the morbidity it used to have.
I am staying with a famous French writer, M. Jules Bois. I am his guest. As he is a man making his living with his pen, he is not rich; but we have many great ideas in common and feel happy together.
He discovered me a few years ago and has already translated some of my pamphlets into French. We shall in the end find what we are looking for, isn't it?
Thus, I shall travel with Madame Calve, Miss MacLeod, and M. Jules Bois. I shall be the guest of Madame Calve, the famous singer. We shall go to Constantinople, the Near East, Greece, and Egypt. On our way back, we shall visit Venice.
It may be that I shall give a few lectures in Paris after my return, but they will be in English with an interpreter. I have no time any more, nor the power to study a new language at my age. I am an old man, isn't it?
Mrs. Funke is ill. I think she works too hard. She already had some nervous trouble. I hope she will soon be well.
I am sending all the money I earned in America to India. Now I am free, the begging-monk as before. I have also resigned from the Presidentship of the Monastery. Thank God, I am free! It is no more for me to carry such a responsibility. I am so nervous and so weak.
"As the birds which have slept in the branches of a tree wake up, singing when the dawn comes, and soar up into the deep blue sky, so is the end of my life."
I have had many difficulties, and also some very great successes. But all my difficulties and suffering count for nothing, as I have succeeded. I have attained my aim. I have found the pearl for which I dived into the ocean of life. I have been rewarded. I am pleased.
Thus it seems to me that a new chapter of my life is opening. It seems to me that Mother will now lead me slowly and softly. No more effort on roads full of obstacles, now it is the bed prepared with birds' down. Do you understand that? Believe me, I feel quite sure.
The experience of all my life, up to now, has taught me, thank God, that I always find what I am looking for with eagerness. Sometimes it is after much suffering, but it does not matter! All is forgotten in the softness of the reward. You are also going through troubles, my friend, but you shall have your reward. Alas! What you now find is not a reward but an additional affliction.
As to myself, I see the cloud lifting, vanishing, the cloud of my bad Karma. And the sun of my good Karma rises--shining, beautiful, and powerful. This will also be the case for you, my friend. My knowledge of this language has not the power to express my emotion. But which language can really do so?
So I drop it, leaving it to your heart to clothe my thought with a soft, loving, and shining language. Good night, gute Nacht !
Your devoted friend,
Vivekananda.

PS. We shall leave Paris for Vienna on October 29th. Mr. Leggett is leaving for the United States by next week. We shall notify the Post Office to forward our letters to our further destinations.
V.

 

Epistles (fifth series)

LXIX
To Sister Christine
19 West 38th Street
9th August '95
Dear Christina,
You must be enjoying the beautiful weather very much. Here, it is extremely hot but it does not worry me much. I had a pleasant journey from Thousand Islands to New York; and though the Engine was derailed, I did not know anything of it, being asleep all the time. Miss Waldo went out of the train at Albany. I did not see her off as I was asleep. I have not heard anything from her yet. Hope to hear soon. Dr. [L. L. Wight] and Miss [Ruth] Ellis must have gone home by this time.
We gave them a telepathic message but Miss Ellis has not got it sure, else she would write.
I am making preparations for my departure.
I came in time for one of the meetings here and had another one last evening--going to have one more this evening and almost every evening till I go over.
What is Mrs. Funkey [Mary Caroline Funke] doing, and Miss [Mary Elizabeth] Dutcher? Do you go to meditate on the mountain as usual? Did you hear from Kripananda?
Write to me as soon as you can--I am so anxious to hear from you.
Ever yours with blessings and love,
Vivekananda
P.S. My love and blessings to Mrs. Funkey and Miss Dutcher.
V.

 

LXXI
To Sister Christine
[The following telegram was sent on Swami Vivekananda's behalf.]
Postal Telegraph-Cable Company
Received at Main Office, Cor. Griswold
and Lafayette Ave., Detroit, Mich.
43. NY. FC. W. . . 10 Paid. 12:45 Pm
New York, N.Y.
[August 17, 1895]
Miss Christina Greenstidel,
418 Alfred St., Detroit, Mich.
Swamm [Swami] leaving sends you and Mrs. Funke love and blessing.
Kripananda.

 

LXXVIII
To Sister Christine
228 W. 39th Street
New York
December 24, 1895
Dear Christina--
Merry Christmas and happy New Year to you. I am going today to the country. I return in 10 days.
About the tour through Detroit--I will fix it later on. I am afraid if I go just now, everything here will fall to pieces.
I will come anyway, but I am afraid it will be later than I expected.
My love to Mrs. Phelps, Mrs. Phunkey [Funke] and all our friends and Christmas greetings.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda
P.S. Kripananda sends his greetings too.
V.

 

LXXXIV
To Sister Christine
24th Jan. '95 ['96]
Dear Christina,
I have not heard from you [for] long. Hope everything is going on well with you and Mrs. Phunkey [Funke].
Did you receive my poem? 106 I had a letter from Mrs. Phelps today. I am coming to Detroit next March early, as I will have to finish my February course in New York. The public lectures will be printed as they are delivered right along. The class lectures will very soon be collected and edited in little volumes.
May the Lord bless you ever and ever.
Yours ever with love and blessings,
Vivekananda

 

LXXXVIII
To Sister Christine
C/o the Procopeia
45 St., Botolph Street
Boston, Mass.
22nd March '96
Dear Christina,
Herewith [words excised] to countersign it and put it [words excised]. I am afraid I have made a mistake in writing Miss to your name. In that case you will have to sign also as Miss etc.
I am enjoying Boston very much, especially the old friends here.
They are all kind. Reply promptly. Write fully later on.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Yours etc.,
Vivekananda

XC
To Sister Christine
1628 Indiana Ave.
Chicago, Ill.
[April 6, 1896]
Dear Christina,
[Line excised.] reply as soon as possible.
I am going forward to New York on Thursday [April 9] and [will] start for England on the 15th of April.
Goodbye and love to you all--to Mrs. Funkey [Funke], to Mrs. Phelps and all the rest of our friends.
In this life we meet and part again and again; but the mind is omnipresent and can be, hear, and feel anywhere.
Yours with love and blessings,
Vivekananda
P.S. Give Kripananda and Miss [Martha] Hamilton my love and blessings when you meet them next.
V.

[Written in the margin:] I will go to New York next Friday [April 10].

 

XCI

To Sister Christine

High View, Caversham
Reading, London.
26th April '96
Dear Christina,
How are things going on with you? I am all safe and sound here in England. Going to begin work from May fourth. How is Mrs. Funkey [Funke]?
Give them all my Love. Write me all about yourself and Mrs. Funkey when you have time. Address me at 63 St., George's Road, S.W. London.
Where is Krip. [Swami Kripananda]? What is he doing now? Has he been able to get up any classes yet? Has his temper gone down?
Give them all my love--and [to] Miss Hamilton and to all my friends and to the Rabbi [Grossman of Detroit].
Yours ever with love and blessings,
Vivekananda

 

XCVIII

To Sister Christine

[Postmarked: Saas-Fee]
Switzerland
5th August 1896
Blessed and Beloved,
Surrounded on all sides by eternal snow peaks, sitting on the grass in a beautiful wood, my thoughts go to those I love--
so I write.
I am in Switzerland--constantly on the move--getting a much needed rest. It is a miniature Himalayas, and has the same effect of raising the mind up to the Self and driving away all earthly feelings and ties. I am intensely enjoying it. I feel so, so uplifted. I cannot write, but I wish you will have the same for ever--when your feet do not want, as it were, to touch the material earth--when the soul finds itself floating, as it were, in an ocean of spirituality.
Prof. Max Muller has written in the Nineteenth Century an article on my Master. Read it if you can--August number.I hope you are enjoying this beautiful summer and are perfectly rested after hard work.
My love to all. Blessings to all.
Yours ever with love and blessings,
Vivekananda
P.S. A few Alpine flowers growing almost in the midst of eternal snow I send you, praying that you may attain spiritual hardihood amidst all snows and ice of this life.
V.

 

XCIX
To Sister Christine
Airlie Lodge, Ridgeway Gardens
Wimbledon, England
October 6, 1896
Dear Christina,
I am sure you got my letter from Switzerland.
I am now in London, back after having travelled through Germany and Holland.
How are things going with you? Had you a nice summer? How are you physically and spiritually? How is Mrs. Fhunkey [Funke] and all the other friends? Have you any news of Baby? 115 Where is Kr [Kripananda] and what is he doing now?
I have another Sannyasin over here with me now, who will work here whilst I am away to India, where I go this winter.
I will write to you in extenso later; tonight it is so late and I am so weary.
With all love and blessings,
Yours,
Vivekananda

 

CII
To Sister Christine
On board Prinz Regent Luitpold
3rd January 1897.
Dear Christina,
By two p.m. today I reach Port Said. Asia once more. I have not heard from you [for] long. Hope everything is going on well with you. How are Mrs. Funke, Mrs. Phelps, and all other friends?
My love to all. Write when you feel like it.
Vivekananda.

 

CV
To Sister Christine
Darjeeling,
[Return Address: Alambazar Math, Calcutta]
16th March 1897.
Dear Christina,
Many, many thanks for the photograph and the poem. I never saw anything half as beautiful. The work I had to do to reach Calcutta from Ceylon was so immense that I could not earlier acknowledge your precious gift. The work has broken me down completely, and I have got "diabetes", an incurable disease, which must carry me off--at least in a few years.
I am now writing to you from Darjeeling, the nearest hill station to Calcutta, with a climate as cool as London. It has revived me a bit. If I live, I will come to America next year or so.
How are things going on with you all? How are Mrs. Funkey [Funke] and Mrs. Phelps?
Are you laying by a few dollars whenever you can? That is very important.
I am in a hurry for the mail. You will be glad to know that the Indian people have, as it were, risen in a mass to honour me. I am the idol of the day. Mr. Goodwin is going to publish in book form all the addresses given to me and the speeches in reply. The demonstrations all over have been simply unique.
Yours with all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CXV
To Sister Christine
Khetri,
13th December 1897.
My dear Christina,
How funny all these dreams and evil prognostications of yours! You don't want to send me evil influences by thinking that way of me! I will be only too glad to lose 50 lbs. of my weight. A little rest puffs me up, and I am the same bloated monk as ever.
I am all right except [for] a bad cold the last few days, owing to exposure and travel in the desert. I thank you for the letter though. I am pleased with it enormously, as it shows the mind.
Give Mrs. Funkey [Funke], Baby [Stella Campbell], and all the rest my love, and, as you know, yourself--
Yours ever in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
PS--I will write a better note when this cold has left.
V.

 

CXVI
To Sister Christine
Jodhpur, Rajputana,
4th January 1898.
Love and greetings etc. to thee, dear Christina, and a happy New Year. May it find you younger in heart, stronger in body, and purer in spirit.
I am still travelling in season and out of season. Lecturing some, working a good deal.
Have you seen Mr. [Edward T.] Sturdy of England, who, I learn, has been to Detroit? Did you like him?
I am quite well and strong. Hope to meet you this blessed year again in America.
I am going to Calcutta in a few days, where I intend to be the rest of this cold weather. Next summer, I start for England or America most probably.
Yours ever in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CXVIII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Beloor, Howrah Dist.,
Bengal, India,
11th March 1898.
My dear Christina,
I simply wonder what has become of you. It is an age [that] I did not hear from you, and I expected so much after Sturdy's visit to Detroit. How did you like the man? What about Baby and the Devendorfs? How is Mrs. Funkey [Funke]? What are you going to do this summer? Take rest, dear Christina; I am sure you require it badly.
Mrs. Bull of Boston and Miss MacLeod of New York are now in India. We have changed our Math from the old, nasty house to a house on the banks of the Ganges. This is much more healthy and beautiful. We have also got a good piece of land very near on the same side where Mrs. Bull and Miss MacLeod are putting up now. It is wonderful how they accommodate themselves to our Indian life of privation and hardship! My, these Yanks can do anything! After the luxuries of Boston and New York, to be quite content and happy in this wretched little house!! We intend to travel a bit together in Kashmir, and then I come to America with them and am sure to get a hearty welcome from my friends. What do you think? Is it welcome news to you? Of course, I cannot undergo the same amount of work as before; that, dear Christina, I am sorry, I will no more be able to do. I will do a little work and [take] a good deal of rest. No more getting crowds and making noise, but quiet, silent, personal work will be all I intend to do.
This time I will quietly come and quietly go away, seeing only my old friends, and no noise.
Write soon, as I am so anxious.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
"There are two sorts of persons--one sort has the heart of water, the other of stone. The one easily takes an impression, and as easily throws it off; the other seldom takes an impression, but once it takes, it is there for ever. Nay, the more they struggle to cast it off, the more it cuts deep into the stone soul."--R. K. [Ramakrishna] Paramahamsa

 

CXXVII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Beloor, Howrah Dist.,
25th October, 1898.
My dear Christina,
How are you? I am very anxious about your health. I have long not had any letter from you. My health again failed badly. I had, therefore, to leave Kashmir in haste and come to Calcutta. The doctors say I ought not go tramping again this winter. That is such a disappointment, you know. However, I am coming to the U. S. this sum-mer. Mrs. Bull and Miss MacLeod enjoyed this year's trip to Kashmir immensely, and now they are having a glimpse of the old monuments and buildings of Delhi, Agra, Jeypore [Jaipur], etc
.Do write a nice, long letter if you have time, and do not work yourself to death. Duty is duty, no doubt; but we have our duties, not only to our mother etc., but to others also. Sometimes one duty asks for physical sacrifice, whilst the other insists on great care for our health. Of course, we follow the stronger motive, and [I] do not know which will prove stronger in your case. Anyhow, take great care of your body, now that your sisters have come to your help.
How do you manage the family?--the expenses etc? Write me all you like to write. Give me a long chat, will you? Do!
I am getting better every day--and then the long months before I can start for the U.S. Never mind, "Mother" knows what is best for us. She will show the way. I am now in Bhakti. As I am growing old, Bhakti is taking the place of Jnana. Did you get the new Awakened India? How do you like it?
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CXXXII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal, India,
26th January 1899.
My dear Christina,
Excuse this long delay in replying to your very beautiful note. The fact is, I was once more in the vale of death. The old diabetes has now disappeared. In its place has come what some doctors call asthma, others dyspepsia, owing to nervous prostration. However, it is a most worrying disease, giving one the sensation of suffocation--sometimes for days. I am best only in Calcutta; so I am here for rest and quiet and low diet. If I get well by March, I am going to start for Europe. Mrs. Bull and others are gone; sorry I could not accompany them owing to this disease.
I have carefully weighed your plans for coming over. I will be ever so glad to see you, you know it well; but, my dear, the Indian summer will not suit you, and if you start now it will be midsummer when you reach India. Then, you must not hope of making any living here. It is impossible for me to make a living most times in my own country. Then all the surroundings are so, so wretched and different from what you see around you, e.g. you will find me going about in loin-cloth--will that shock you? Three-fourths of the population only wearing a strip of white cloth about their loins--can you bear that?
I must stop here; I am so weak. If I do not get well by March, I will write you to come, for I wish it ever so much to see you once before I pass away.
Do not be the least anxious, dear. Things must be as "Mother" wishes. Ours is only to obey and work.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
PS. Mrs. Bull will reach Cambridge, Mass., soon. You may write to her there on the particulars.
Yours,
V.

PS. I have again lost your address. Please give the correct one in your next.

V.

CXXXVIII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal, India,
10th May 1899.
My dear Christina,
I am getting better again. In my mind the whole of my complaint is bad assimilation of food and nervous exhaustion. The first, I am taking care of; the second will completely pass off when I meet you again. The great joy of meeting old, old friends, you know! Cheer up! There is no cause for anxiety. Do not believe a single desponding line I write now, because I am at times not myself. I get so nervous.
I start this summer for Europe anyway, as you say in America. With all love and blessings,
Yours ever in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CXL
To Sister Christine
Suez,
14th July 1899.
My dear Christina,
You see this time I am really out, and hope to reach London in two weeks. I am sure to come to America this year and earnestly hope will have the opportunity of seeing you. I am so materialistic yet, you know! Want to see my friends in the gross body.
I had a beautiful letter from Baby [Stella Campbell] before I left. I am soon going to pen a reply to your care, as directed. I could not write her earlier.
I was so, so bad in health in India. My heart went wrong all the way--what with mountain climbing, bathing in glacier water and nervous prostration! I used to get terrible fits [of asthma]--the last lasting about seven days and nights. All the time I was suffocating and had to stand up.
This trip has almost made a new man of me. I feel much better and, if this continues, hope to be quite strong before I reach America. How are you? What are you doing? Write everything about yourself, c/o E. T. Sturdy Esq., 25 Holland Villas Road, London, W.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

CXLI
To Sister Christine
Marseilles,
23rd July 1899.
My dear Christina,
Your very, very welcome wire just came. By next Sunday 133 we arrive in London, Albert Dock. 134 We are a party of four: myself, another Sannyasin, 135 a Calcutta boy 136 going to study in America, and Miss [Margaret] Noble. Miss Noble is a young lady from Wimbledon, near London, who has been working in India on the education of girls.
Our stay in England will not be long, I am afraid, as this is neither the season nor am I in fit condition to work much. Anyhow, we will be in London a few weeks--at least myself--then go to the U.S. We will talk over all this and infinite things besides when we meet. I do not think even English summer days are long enough for all the chatter I will assail you with.
We go to Wimbledon for a day or two, and then I come back to London and find lodgings for myself and make plans.
Come to the Dock if that is possible and discreet. Yes, it is discreet, as there is a lady in the party and others will come to meet her. Only, Christina, don't if you feel the least tired or unwell. I hope you are enjoying London immensely.
The Orientals do not like any effusion of feeling. They are trained to hide all expression.
Is Mrs. Funkey [Mary Caroline Funke] with you? If so, give her my best love.
I am much, much better just now. I am really quite another man this time. I was nearly dead in Calcutta when I started, but this voyage has improved me immensely.
Hoping soon to see you,
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

CXLII
To Sister Christine
telegram
to: Christina Grinnstidel [Greenstidel]
23 Crowhurst Rd., Angell Rd.
Briaton, Ldn.
30 July 1899
Golconda due docks 6 am Monday. 137

 

CXLV
To Sister Christine
Ridgely Manor,
20th September 1899.
Dear Christina,
I am much better, thank you. Hitherto, excepting three days, ther e has not been any wet weather to speak of here. Miss [Margaret] Noble came yesterday, and we are having a jolly good time. I am very, very sorry to say I am growing fat again. That is bad. I wi ll eat less and grow thin once more.
You are again at work--so do I find--only with a little variation of the old occupation. Better rest than mere idling. Do you like my new poem? 138 Miss Noble thinks it is nice. But that is her way with everything I do. So you also say. I will now send my writings to missionary papers to get a fierce criticism.
With all love to you and Mrs. Funkey [Funke],
Ever yours affectionately,
Vvekananda.

 

CXLVIII
To Sister Christine
C/o F. H. Leggett, Esq.,
Ridgely Manor,
Stone Ridge, Ulster Co., N.Y.
25th October 1899.
Dear Christina,
What is the matter with you? Write me a line to tell me how you a re and what you are doing now.
I am tired of this place, and will come down to New York for a fe w days soon. I start thence for Chicago and, if you like, will st op at Detroit on my way to How-do-you-do. I am much better, indeed quite a different man, though not completely cured--for that, time is necessary.
Yours,
Vivekananda.

 

CXLIX
To Sister Christine
Rdgely Manor,
30th October 1899.
My dear Christina,
Did you not get my last letter? I am very anxious to know how you are. Write a line to tell me you are in very good health.
I am afraid the previous one was misdirected, so I send this c/o Mrs. Funkey [Funke].
Do write soon. I am thinking of Battle Creek food. 140 Baby insists on that. Do you think it will do me any good? Write soon.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

PS--Where is this Battle Creek? Is it near Detroit? I am seriousl y thinking of giving it a trial. I am not bad, but unfit for any exertion, even for a walk. This sort of life is no good to live. I [will] try Battle Creek, and if that fails, get out quick.
V.
Write me about Battle Creek.
V.

 

CL
To Sister Christine
Ridgely Manor,
4th November 1899.
My dear Christina,
The letter was all right in reaching. It was only my nervousness. I am sure you will understand and excuse this. I eagerly expect t o see you in Cambridge. I am going to New York next week. Thence I go for a few days to Washington and then to Cambridge. Do come. And mind you, I must learn German. I am determined to be a French and German scholar. French, I think, I can manage with the help of a dictionary. If I can do that much German in a month, I will be so glad.
It naturally takes time for a letter to reach from here. We have one delivery and one posting a day.
With all love,
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
My eternal love and blessings to Mrs. Funkey [Funke].

 

CLI
To Sister Christine
21 West 34th Street,
New York,
10th November 1899.
My dear Christina,
I received your letter just now. I am now in New York. Dr. [Egber t] Guernsey analysed my urine yesterday, and there was no sugar o r albumen in it. So my kidneys are all right, at least at present. The heart is only nervous, requires calming!--some cheer ful company and good, loving friends and quiet. The only difficulty is the dyspepsia, and that is the evil. For instance, I am all right in the morning and can walk miles, but in the evening it is impossible to walk after a meal--the gas--that depends entirely up on food, does it not? I ought to try the Battle Creek food. If I come to Detroit, there will be quiet and Battle Creek food for me .
But if you come to Cambridge with all the instructions of the Battle Creek food, I will have it prepared there; or, between you and me, we will cook it. I am a good hand at that. You don't know a thing about cooking. Well, you may help in cleaning the plates etc. I always get money when I need it badly. "Mother" always see s to that. So, no danger on that head. I am not in the least danger of life, the Doctors agree--only if this dyspepsia goes away. And that is "food", "food", "food", and no worry. Oh, what a worry I have had! Say we go somewhere else and make a little party and keep house ourselves. In Cambridge, Mrs. Bull has a quiet separate place--her studio house. You can have rooms there. I wish you to know Mrs. Bull. She is a saint, a real saint, if ever there was one. Wait for my next letter. I will write today again, or tomorrow after seeing Mrs. Bull.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CLII

To Sister Christine

C/o Dr. E. Guernsey,
180 West 59th Street,
New York,
12th November 1899.
Christina--
Mrs. Bull has gone to Boston without seeing me. I am with the Guernseys. All today laid up with colds.
Oh, these nasty colds. The doctor here declares my case as entire ly one of nervous exhaustion. Even the dyspepsia is entirely nervous.
I will be a few days yet here, and then I don't know where I go. I have a great mind to try health food. As for you, write unreservedly where you [would] like me to be. If you think it bes t for me to come to Detroit, write or wire on receipt of this. I will come immediately. Only difficulty is now the dyspepsia.
With love to Mrs. Funkey [Funke],
Ever yours with blessings,
Vivekananda.
P.S. If Cambridge is best, say that immediately.
V.

 

CLIV
To Sister Christine
21 West 34th Street,
New York,
21st November 1899.
My dear Christina,
Circumstances have so fallen that I have to start for California tomorrow. It is for my physical benefit too; as the doctor says, I had better be off where the severe winter of the North cannot reach.
Well, thus my plans are made and marred. Anyway--come over to Cambridge when you feel like it. Mrs. Bull will only be too happy to do anything for you she can.
I hope to stop in Detroit on my way back. The Lord's will--as we say.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CLIX

To Sister Christine

921 West 21st Street,
Los Angeles,
9th December 1899.
My dear Christina,
After all, it is good for me, and good for those I love, that I should come here. Here at last in California! One of our poets says: "Where is Benares, where is Kashmir, where Khorasan, where Gujarat! O Tulsi! thus, man's past Karma drags him on". And I am here. After all it is best, isn't it? Are you going to Boston? I am afraid you are not. I have not unsettled any of your plans, have I?--unnecessary expenses? Well, if any, I will make it up. Only the trouble is yours. I am ashamed of my eccentricities. Well, how are you? What are you doing? How are things going with you? Sleep if you can; it is better to sleep than get awakened. I pray that all good may come to thee--all peace, all strength to do and suffer. I have a great deal of strength to do, but very little to suffer.
I am so selfish again, always thinking of my own sufferings and paying no heed to others. Pray for me; send strong thoughts that I may have strength to suffer. I know you will. Now, I mean to remain a few weeks in this city. After that, "Mother" knows. I am physically much better now than I have been for months. The weakness of the heart is nearly gone. The dyspepsia is also much better, and [there is] very little. I can walk miles now without feeling it in the heart. If this continues, I expect to have a ne w lease on life. I am so, so sorry of asking you to come to Bosto n and flying away. If you are there, I hope you will enjoy the place and the meetings. If you have given it up--well, did you ta ke leave and not go to Boston? My! what a bungle! Well, I ask a thousand pardons, if such is the case. Things must look brighter anyway, sooner or later. What of these little, few days of life!
How is Mrs. Funke? Loads of love for her. How long a leave [do] y ou get at Christmas? When does it begin? If you feel inclined and willing, write me a long note, will you? But don't tell my friend s my whereabouts. I want to be off from the world for a time, if I can. Will you kindly send Mr. Freer's address to Mrs. Bull? She needs it. I had a lecture here last night. The hall was not crowded, as there was very little ad[vertisement], but a fairly good-sized audience though. I hope they were pleased. If I feel better, I am going to have classes in this city soon. I am on the business path this time, you know. Want a few dollars quick, if I can.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXI

To Sister Christine

921 West 21st Street,
Los Angeles,
27th December 1899.
Dear Christina,
So you are awake and can't go to sleep any more. Good! Keep awake, wide awake. It was good I came here. For, in the first place, I am cured. What do you think of this--able to walk, and every day walk three miles after a heavy dinner! Good! Isn't it?
I am making money fast--twenty-five dollars a day now. Soon I will work more and get fifty dollars a day. In San Francisco I hope to do still better--where I go in two or three weeks. Good again--better, say I--as I am going to keep the money all to myself and not squander it any more. And then I will buy a little place in the Himalayas--a whole hill--about say, six thousand feet high with a grand view of the eternal snows. There must be springs and a tiny lake. Cedars--the Himalayan cedar forests--and flowers, flowers everywhere. I will have a little cottage; in the middle, my vegetable gardens, which I will work myself--and--and--and--my books--and see the face of man only once in a great while. And the world may go to ruin round about my ears, I would not care. I will have done with all my work--secular or spiritual--and retire. My! how restless I have been all my life! Born nomad. I don't know; this is the present vision. The future is to come yet. Curious--all my dreams about my own happiness are, as it were, bound to come to nothing; but about others' well-being--
they as a rule prove true.
I am so glad you are happy and peaceful under Mrs. Bull's hospitable roof. She is a great, great woman--one whom to see is a pilgrimage.
No snow here--exactly like northern India in winter. Some days, even warmer--cool in the morning and evening, in the middle of the day, warm, in the sun, hot. The roses are about us, gardens everywhere, and the beautiful palms. But I like the snow: crisp, crackling under the feet, white, white, white--all round white!
I don't think I have anything with the kidneys or the heart. The whole thing was about indigestion and it is now nearly cured. A month more, and I will be strong like a lion and hardy like a mule. The poor English are getting it hot from the Boers. Mourning in every home in England and still the war goes on. Such is human folly. How long will it take for man to become civilized! Will wars ever cease? Mother knows! The New Year is sure to bring about a great change. Pray some good may come to India. I send you all joy, all love, all success for the New Year and many, many more to come.
So you did well, you think, by coming to Mrs. Bull. I am glad. I wanted you to know Mrs. Bull thoroughly. Remain there as long as you can. It will do you good, I am sure. Take heart and be of cheer, for next year is sure to bring many joys and a hundred blessings.
Yours truly,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXIV
To Sister Christine
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco, California,
12th March 1900.
Dear Christina,
Just now received a letter from you through New York. I, the other day, wrote you one c/o Mrs. Funke, as I was not sure which of your addresses in my notebook was the correct one! Mental telepathy or foolishness--what is it?
By this time you must have got mine. There is nothing particular about me, except things are going on at the same rate--
very little money-making, a good deal of work, and moving about. I leave here in April and come to Chicago for a few days, then to Detroit and then, through New York, go to England. I hope you are all right. I am very calm and peaceful mentally, and hope to remain so for the rest of my life.
How are Mrs. Funkey [Funke] and the rest of our friends?
With all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXV
To Sister Christine
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco,
[April 9, 1900]
Hello! What's the matter with you--gone to sleep? Have not had any news of you for a long time.
I am getting better every day, and one of these days--say in a few weeks--I am coming straight to say how-d'you-do. Well, I will be here two weeks more, then to a place called Stockton--thence to the East. I may stop a few days in Chicago. I may not.
Beginning of May, I come [for] sure to Detroit. I will, of course, write to you. How is life going on with you--grinding, as usual? Any improvements? Write a chatty letter if you feel like. I am dying to get news.
Ever yours in the Truth,
Vivekananda.

CLXIX
To Sister Christine
C/o Dr. Logan,
770 Oak Street,
San Francisco, California,
19th May 1900.
Dear Christina,
How are you? When is your vacation to commence? I am still in California. Hope to start for the East in two or three weeks more.
Write me all about yourself and how things are going on. How is Mrs. Funkey [Funke]? And the other friends?
Yours as ever,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXI
To Sister Christine
Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
9th June 1900.
Dear Christina,
I could not write more, as the last few weeks of my stay in California was one more relapse and great suffering. However, I got one great benefit out of it inasmuch as I came to know I have really no disease, except worry and fear. My kidneys are as sound as any other healthy man's. All the symptoms of Bright's disease etc., are only brought on by nerves.
I wrote you one, however, from 770 Oak Street, San Francisco, to which I did not get any reply. Of course, I was bedridden then and my address book was not in the place I was in. There was a mistake in number. I cannot believe you did not reply willingly.
As you see, now I am in New York, and will be here a few days. I have an invitation from Mrs. Walton of Cleveland, Ohio. I have accepted it. She writes me you are also invited and have accepted her invitation. Well, we will meet in Cleveland then. I am sure to see you before I go to Europe--either there or anywhere you wish. If you don't think it would be possible for you to come to Ohio, I will come to any other place you want me to come to say goodbye.
When is your school going to close? Write me all about your plans--do!
Miss Noble wants me very much to go to Cleveland. I would be very, very glad to get a few weeks' seclusion and rest before I start with friends who do not disturb me at all. I know I will find rest and peace that way, and you can help me any amount in that. In Cleveland, of course, there will be a few friends always and much talkee-talkee as a matter of course. So if you think I will have real peace and rest elsewhere, just write all about it.
My reply to the Cleveland lady depends on your letter.
How I wish I were in Detroit or elsewhere just now, among friends who I know are good and true always. This is weakness; but when the physical vitality is lowered and the nerves all unstrung, I feel so, so much to depend upon somebody. You will be glad to learn I made a little money in the West. So I will be quite able to pay my expenses.
Write soon.
Yours affectionately,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXII

To Sister Christine

Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
13th June 1900.
Dear Christina,
There is no cause for any anxiety. As I wrote, I am healthier than ever; moreover, all the past fear of kidney troubles has passed away. "Worry" is the only disease I have, and I am conquering it fast.
I will be here a week or two, and then I come to Detroit. If things so happen that I cannot come, I will sure send for you. Anyway, I am not going to leave this country before seeing you. Sure, sure--I must see you first, and then go to Europe.
Things are looking cheerful once more, and good luck, like ill, also comes in bunches. So I am sure it will be smooth sailing every way now, for some time at least.
With love to Mrs. Funkey [Funke],
Ever yours in the Truth,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXIII

To Sister Christine

Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
15 June 1900.
My dear Christina,
I am getting better every day, only this New York is a bad place for sleep. Again, I am working some, though not hard, to get the old friends together and put the thing in shape.
Now, you know, I will in a week or so finish this work and then be ready for a real quiet of a week or two or more.Detroit, alas! will be no better than New York. With so many old friends! How can you avoid friends whom you really love?
I will have perfect freedom at yours--sure--but how can I avoid seeing friends and the eternal visiting and paying visits and much talkee-talkee? Do you know any other place within eight or ten hours (I want to avoid night rides) of riding from New York where I can be quiet and free from the people? (Lord bless them.) I am dead tired seeing people just now. Just think of that and everything else; if, after all, you think Detroit is the best place for me, I am ready to come.
Yours truly,
Vivekananda.
PS--I am also thinking of a quiet place.
V.

 

CLXXIV

To Sister Christine

Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
27th June 1900.
Dear Christina,
This is my plan just now. I will have to remain in New York a few days yet to see my books through. I am going to publish another edition of Karma-Yoga and the London lectures in a book form. Miss Waldo is editing them, and Mr. Leggett will publish.
Then, I think, if I am to remain in this country a few weeks more, it is better that you get a rest and change. Newport 155 is a celebrated seaside place--four hours from New York. I am invited there. I will go there this week and, as promised, I [will] find quiet and retirement and freedom. I will try to find a place for you and wire you as soon as found.
I am sure in Detroit you cannot have rest. A little change of place and quiet from time to time is a great factor in renewing one's vigour
.Well, if you think that you would have better rest and quiet in Detroit, drop a line and I come. It is only seventeen hours from New York to Detroit, and I am quite strong to undertake it. I am free to go already; only I really want you to take a good, long rest for some weeks at least.
Don't be afraid of expenses. Mother has amply provided that and will provide, so long I am unselfish.
Think [over] all the pros and cons, and write at your earliest convenience.
I am going to Newport anyway, just to see what it looks like. I will write you all about [it] as soon as I am there.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXVI

To Sister Christine

[On July 3, 1900, before departing for Detroit with Swami Turiyananda and Miss Minnie Boock, Swami Vivekananda dispatched a telegram.]

[Postmarked: New York
July 3, 1900]
Started reach tomorrow Wednesday 2 p.m. Come station Wabash.

Swami Vivekananda

 

CLXXIX

To Sister Christine

a Bord de Paquebot la Champagne,
Friday morning, 9 a.m.,
3rd August 1900.
Dear Christina,
It is foggy this morning. We are in the channel--expect to reach [Le Havre] at 12 a.m. [noon]. It has been a very bad voyage--rolling and raining and dark nearly all the time. Terrible rolling all through. Only last night I had good sleep. On other occasions the rolling makes me sleep well, but this time I don't know what was the matter; the mind was so whirling. Anyway,
I am well and soon to reach land.
Hope to reach Paris this evening.
I send this to Detroit, expecting you there.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXXI

To Sister Christine

6, Place des Etats-Unis
14th August 1900
Dear Christine,
Your letter from New York reached just now. You must have got mine from France, directed to 528 Congress.
Well--it was a dreary, funeral-like time. Just think what it is to a morbid man like me!
I am going to the Exposition, etc., trying to pass time. Had a lecture here. Pre Haycinth [Hyacinthe], the celebrated clergy-man here, seems to like me much. Well, well what? Nothing. Only, you are so good, and I am a morbid fool--that is all about it. But "Mother"--She knows best. I have served Her through weal or woe. Thy will be done. Well, I have news of my lost brother [Mahendranath Datta]. He is a great traveller, that is good. So you see, the cloud is lifting slowly. My love to your mother and sister and to Mrs. Funkey [Funke].
With love,
Vivekananda

 

CLXXXIII

To Sister Christine

6, Place des Etats-Unis, Paris
23rd August 1900
Dear Christine,
What is the matter with you? Are you ill? Unhappy? What makes you silent? I had only one little note from you in all this time.
I am getting a bit nervous about you--not much. Otherwise I am enjoying this city. Did Mrs. A. P. Huntington write you?
I am well--keeping well as far as it is possible with me.
With love,
Vivekananda

 

CLXXXIV

To Sister Christine

6 Place des Etats Unis,
Paris,
15th September 1900.
Dear Christina,
Your letter was very reassuring. I am so glad this summer did you good. So you did not get enamoured of New York City.
Well, I am getting enamoured of Paris. I now am living with a M. Jules Bois, a French savant, who has been a student and admirer of my works.
He talks very little English; in consequence, I have to trot out my jargon French and am succeeding well, he says. I can now understand if he will talk slowly.
Day after tomorrow I go to Bretagne [Brittany] where our American friends are enjoying the sea breeze--and the massage. 159
I go with M. Bois for a short visit; aprs ca [after that] I don't know where I go. I am getting quite Frenchy, connaissez-vous [do you know]? I am also studying grammaire and hard at work. [Sentence torn off] In a few months I hope to be Frenchy, but by that time I will forget it by staying in England.
I am strong, well and content--no morbidity.
Au revoir,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXXVII

To Sister Christine

[On a postcard, picturing the old decayed fortress walls of Istanbul, Swami Vivekananda wrote the following note.]

[Postmarked: November 1, 1900]
Dear Christina--
I am having a good time here. So I hope you also are having in Detroit--
Yours truly,
Vivekananda.

 

CLXXXIX

To Sister Christine

[On a postcard, showing the temple of Hepaistos, popularly called Thesion, Swami Vivekananda wrote.]

[Postmarked: Athens,
November 11, 1900]
Great fun. I write without the possibility of being written to, as I am changing place all the time. How do you do?
Vivekananda

 

CXCIV
To Sister Christine
The Math, Belur,
Howrah Dist., Bengal,
[April 4, 1901]
Dear Christine,
The subsequent proceedings have been so much interesting; and the interest has been growing so rapidly of late, that one could scarcely utter a word. 164
I am glad to learn of Mrs. [Ole] Bull's sweet letter to you; she is an angel. You are peaceful and happy--good. I am growing towards it too.
I am en route to Chandranath on pilgrimage.
I have been anxiously awaiting a letter from you, and it seemed it would never come.
I am sure to be happy--can't help thinking so. After so much struggle, the result must come. Things take their own course; it is I who am to brighten up, I find. And I am trying my best. And you can help me by writing nice letters now and then; will you?
Margot [Sister Nivedita] is doing splendid work in England with Mrs. Bull's backing. Things are going on nicely.
I am sleeping better and the general health is not bad.
With everlasting love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
P.S. Please enquire of Miss [Sarah Ellen] Waldo about the publication of Karma and Jnana Yogas and write.

 

CXCVI

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Howrah Dist., Bengal,
13th May 1901.
Dear Christine,
I arrived in the Math yesterday. This morning came your short note. You must have got my letters by this time, and [I] hope this will give you a taste of how sometimes silence is gold.
I have beautiful letters from everywhere this morning and am quite happy. I paid a long visit of two months to Assam and different parts of eastern Bengal. For combined mountain and water scenery, this part of the country is unrivalled.
Either I am to go to Europe this summer, and thence to the U.S., or you come over to India--things are all getting ready to that end. Mother knows Her ways. For one thing, I am calm, very calm, and hope to keep a hold on this state for a long time; and you are my best help to keep this poise, are you not? I will write more in my next; just now these few lines--and a hundred pardons I beg for their scantiness. Yet silence tells more sometimes than all the speech in the world.
With all love and blessings,
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

 

CC

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal, India,
[End of June 1901]
Dear Christina,
Your very welcome letter just reached. A few days ago a precious little bit of poem also reached. I wish it ever so much you were the writer thereof. Anyhow, most of us feel, though unable to express; and then, "There are thoughts that lie too deep for tears". Regularity in anything is not in my line of life, but that need not make you irregular. I pray you to drop a few lines every now and then. Of course, when I am not in this body, I am sure the news will reach you, and then you will have to stop writing.
Miss MacLeod wishes me to join her in Japan, but I am not sure. Most probably I am not going, especially as I expect both her and Mrs. Ole Bull in India, in November. Two whole months consumed in coming and going; only one month's stay in Japan--that does not pay, I am afraid.Say,
I am getting enormously fat about the middle--alas!
Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier, who is now in England, returns in a few months to India. She has invited Mrs. Bull etc. to be her guests in the Himalayas. I wish they could be there during summer.
I have manfully borne the terrific heat of my country in the plains, and now I am facing the deluging rains of my country. Do you know how I am taking rest? I have got a few goats and sheep and cows and dogs and cranes! And I am taking care of them the whole day! It is not trying to be happy; what for? Why should one not be unhappy as well--both being nonsense?--but just to kill time.
Do you correspond with Mrs. Bull or Nivedita?
Don't worry, don't be anxious; for me the "Mother" is my protection and refuge; and everything must come round soon, better than my fondest dreams can paint.
With all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CCI

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
6th August 1901.
Letters are sometimes, dear Christina, like mercy--good to the one that sends and the other that receives.
I am so happy that you are calm and resigned as ever. You are ever that. "Mother knows", indeed; only I know that "Mother" not only knows, but does--and is going to do something very fine for me in the near future. What do you think will be very good for me on earth? Silver? Gold? Pooh! I have got something infinitely better; but a little gold will not be amiss to keep my jewel in proper surroundings, and it is coming, don't you think so?
I am a man who frets much, but waits all the same; and the apple comes to my mouth by itself. So, it is coming, coming, coming.
Now, how are you? Growing ever thinner, thinner, thinner, eh? Do have a very good appetite and good sleep in anticipation of the coming good time--to be in trim for welcoming its advent.
How did the heat feel this year? We read all sorts of horrible stories about American heat waves. You have beaten the world's records, even in heat--that's Yankee push, surely.
Well, you are right as about taste: I renounce the yellow of gold and the white of silver, but stick to amber always--that is to my taste.
Amber and corals I always hated; but of late I am awakening to their beauty. One learns as he lives, is it not?
I am going to Darjeeling tomorrow for a few days and will write to you from there. Now gute Nacht [good night] and au revoir [good-bye] for the present.
Ever yours truly,
Vivekananda.

 

CCII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
27th August 1901.
Dear Christine,
I am expecting a long, long letter from you; and, like all expectations of mine, [it] will not be realized, I fear.
Well, I need not bother you with the usual string of questions: How are you? What are you doing all this summer, etc. I am sure the Mother will [do] so much as to keep you in good health at least.
Now, Christina, for many reasons this letter happens to be short, very. It is written with the special purpose that as soon as you get this, send me your latest photograph.
Did you write to Miss [Sarah Ellen] Waldo about the publication of the books? I get no news and, what is more important, no money (that is between you and me) from the sale.
Did you have any news of Margot [Sister Nivedita], of Mrs. [Ole] Bull etc.? And are you happy? I sometimes feel I am, other times it is clouded. Well, it is all the body, after all--material. Goodbye.
Yours with love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
PS--Do send the photo as soon as possible.
V.

 

CCIII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
2nd September 1901.
My dear Christine,
I have been looking at one of your old photos--the only one you sent four or five years ago; and then I remember how changed and reduced you looked last summer; and it came to me that you must be awfully thin now, as it seems very hard for you to get rid of anxieties. This is simply foolish. Things will, of course, take their shape. We only make ourselves miserable by moping. It is very hard to manipulate one's philosophy to contribute to one's daily need. So it is with you, as with me. But it is easiest to take the teacher's chair and read a lecture. And that has been my life's business!! Indeed, that is the reason why there are more disciples up to the mark than teachers. The upshot of all this is that you must create a huge appetite, then gorge, then sleep and grow fat, fat, fat. Plump is the English word, is it not?
As for me, I am very happy. Of course, Bengal brings the asthma now and then, but it is getting tame, and the terrible things--Bright's disease and diabetes--have disappeared altogether. Life in any dry climate will stop the asthma completely, I am sure. I get reduced, of course, during a fit, but then it takes me no time to lay on a few layers of fat. I have a lot of cows, goats, a few sheep, dogs, geese, ducks, one tame gazelle, and very soon I am going to have some milk buffaloes. These are not your American bison, but huge things--hairless, half-aquatic in habits, and [that] give an enormous quantity of very rich milk.
Within the last few months, I got two fits [of asthma] by going to two of the dampest hill stations in Bengal--Shillong and Darjeeling. I am not going to try the Bengalee mountains any more.
Mrs. Bull and Nivedita are in Norway. I don't know when they [will] come over to India. Miss MacLeod is in Japan. I have not heard from her [for] a long while. They all are expected here in November, and will have a "hot time in this old town" 166 etc. I pray you can come, and the Mother will open the door for it. I cannot but say my prayers mostly have been heard, up to date.
Well now, Christina, send me one of your latest photos next mail, will you? I want to see how much of fat you have accumulated in one year.
Anyhow, I will have to go to America with Mrs. Bull, I am sure. [Excision] 167 By the by, excusez-moi, 168 our Calcutta is never so hot as your Detroit or New York, with its added advantage--we are not required by our society to wear many things. The old Greeks used to think that wearing too many clothes and [feeling] shame to show any part of the body a peculiarity of barbarians! So the Hindus think, down to the present day. We are the most scantily clothed people in the whole world. Bless the Lord! How one would live otherwise in our climate!
3rd September--
I left the letter unfinished last night. The foreign English mail starts day after tomorrow. So begin again. The moon is not up yet, but there is a sunless glow upon the river. Our mighty Ganges (She is indeed mighty now, during the rains) is splashing against the walls of the house. Numerous tiny boats are flitting up and down in the dark; they have come to fish for our shads, which come up the river this season.
How I wish you were here to taste our shads--one of the most delicate fish in the world. It is raining outside--pouring. But the moment this downpour ceases, I rain through every pore--it is so hot yet. My whole body is covered by big patches of prickly heat. Thank goodness there are no ladies about! If I had to cover myself in this state of things, I surely would go crazy.I have also my theme, but I am not despondent. I am sure very soon to pan it out into a beautiful ecstasy [excision]. I am half crazy by nature; then my overtaxed nerves make me outrageous now and then. As a result I don't find anybody who would patiently bear with me! I am trying my best to make myself gentle as a lamb. I hope I shall succeed in some birth. You are so gentle. Sometimes I did frighten you very much, did I not, Christina? I wish I were as gentle as you are. Mother knows which is best.
I would not take any supper tonight, as I ate rather heartily of the aforesaid shad! Then I have to think, think, think on my theme; and some subjects I think best in bed because the whole is made clear to me in dream. Therefore, I am going to bed, and gute Nacht, bon soir, 169 etc., etc. No, no, it is now about 10 a.m. in Detroit. Therefore, a very happy day to you. May all good realities reach you today while I am expecting dreams.
Ever yours with love and blessings,
Vivekananda.

 

CCIV

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
25th September 1901.
Dear Christine,
I could not write you last mail, excusez [excuse]. But I have been expecting one from you for a long time. Hope one will come this mail.
I am just thinking of going over to Japan, as Miss [Josephine] MacLeod is so insistent. Perhaps something will be done; who knows?
From Japan, of course, a peep into America seems inevitable.
Not much news of Mrs. [Ole] Bull or Margot [Sister Nivedita]. Margot is rested, well, and strong. She will come to India some day, perhaps. I am soon expecting Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier though. Her work is needing her. Her beautiful home in the Himalayan forests is a temptation, especially now when a huge tiger is roaming in her compound and killed a horse, a buffalo, and her pair of mastiffs in broad daylight; a number of bears [are] playing havoc with her vegetable garden; and lots of porcupines [are] doing mischief everywhere!!! She went out of the way to buy land in a forest--she and her husband liked it so much.
There is not much to write this week. Words only tire one, except one which is inexhaustible, infinite.
So, goodbye till next week.
Ever with love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
PS--Just now comes a telegram from Miss MacLeod and a letter also. She is so insistent that I am thinking of going over to Japan. In that case, we cross over to America this winter, and thence to England.
Yours,
V.

 

CCV
To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
8th October 1901.
Dear Christina,
Yours of September 9 came to hand yesterday. I congratulate you on your successful visit to the Huron Lake; a few more of them (according to your letter) will force you to sympathize with our condition--oh, the gasping and the melting and the puffing and all the rest of them!
However, nothing in the world like a plump, ripe fruit.
I had to give up my trip to Japan: firstly, because I am not in a working trim yet; secondly, [I] don't much care to make such a long voyage (one month) alone; thirdly, what am I to talk to them, I wonder.
Our heat too has been fierce and is continuing unusually long this year. I am blacker than a Negro by this time.
The California work is progressing famously. They want one or two men more. I would send, if I could, but I have not any more spare men. Poor Turiyananda is suffering from malaria yet, and is awfully overworked.
Do you know whether they published my Jnana-Yoga or not? I got a copy of a second edition of Karma-Yoga only.
I am bobbing up and down in the current of life. Today it is rather down, so I finish the letter here.
Yours with all love and blessings,
Vivekananda.

 

CCVI

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
14th October 1901.
My dear Christina,
Just now came a letter from Mrs. Bull, but none from you, as I expected one this mail.
Mrs. Bull writes, "I wrote Christina recently to ask her if she were to be free in case the opportunity opened for her to go to the East. I send you her reply".
I went through several times your letter to Mrs. Bull. It surely was horrible; and you have been all this time hiding the real state of affairs from me and posing great cheerfulness!!
You will be a precious fool to lose the opportunity if such comes and is offered by Mrs. Bull. You will only have to take a year's leave. The rest will all be arranged by Mrs. Bull, including, I am sure, all your anxiety for those you will have to leave behind in Detroit.
You have been good, too good to be human, and you are so, still. But it is no use making oneself unnecessarily miserable. "Mother's will", surely, if the chance comes; and it has got to come, I know.
I would not write you about my health; for after all this hide and seek, even though it was for my good, I think you have not much of a right to know the truth about my health.
But to some things you have eternal rights, and amongst others, to my eternal love and blessings,
Vivekananda.

 

CCVIII

To Sister Christine

The Math, P.O. Belur, Howrah,
12th November 1901.
Dear Christina,
The morning's mail brought me a photograph from Detroit. I thank the sender very much for promptness. Well, I liked it much. But the old one is the profile view; this, the front. Then again, the phenomenal fat seems to be only imaginary on somebody's part. In a way, I am more used to the old one, and, as such, I cannot slight an old friend. So let me say both are good. The one is an evolution of the other--for the better. I expected a line but it has not arrived yet; [it] may tomorrow. We have a proverb here: "One river is equal to forty miles". There is only a river between Calcutta and our Math, and yet such a round-about way for the mail. Sometimes it comes dribbling for days.
Mrs. [Ole] Bull and Nivedita must have started for the U.S. by this time. Nivedita is sure to see you in Detroit. Mrs. Bull is anxious to induce you to join her Indian party via Japan. If you can take leave for some months, do come. Mother will arrange anyhow; I need not trouble myself.
Mrs. Sevier has started already, it seems--alone.
We had grand Pujas (worships) here in our Math this year. The biggest of our Pujas is the Mother worship, lasting nearly four days and nights. We brought a clay image of Mother with ten hands, standing with one foot on a lion, the other on a demon. Her two daughters--the Goddess of Wealth and the Goddess of Learning and Music--on either side on lotuses; beneath, her two sons--the God of War and that of Wisdom.
Thousands of people were entertained, but I could not see the Puja, alas! I was down with high fever all the time. Day before yesterday, however, came the Puja of Kali. We had an image, too, and sacrificed a goat and burned a lot of fireworks. This night every Hindu home is illuminated, and the boys go crazy over fireworks. There are, of course, several cases of severe burns in the hospitals. We had less fireworks but more Puja, recitation of Mantras, offering of flowers, food and songs. It lasted only one night.
I am expected to leave Calcutta and Bengal in a few days, as this country becomes very malarious this month, after the rains. It is pleasant and cool now, and the north Himalayan wind is blowing.
We have fenced in a lot of our grounds to protect our vegetables from our cows and goats and sheep. The other day one of my [a portion excised] . . . but the mother was either so wicked or [a portion excised] . . . that she would not look at her young. I tried to keep them alive on cow's milk, but the poor things died in the night! Two of my ducks are sitting on their eggs. As this is their first time, and the male does not help them a bit, I am trying my best to keep up their strength by good feeding. We cannot keep chickens here--they are forbidden to us.
With all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CCIX

To Sister Christine

The Math, P.O. Belur, Howrah,
25th November 1901.
Dear Christine,
It seems your bottle of nerve tonic did not do you much good, your assurances to the contrary. It must have been a curious error. I must have been down with fever or asthma or something else at that time. Still a thousand, thousand pardons. This was my first, and it will be my last, offence. Your letter that went to Miss [Josephine] MacLeod has not come back yet. Perhaps Miss MacLeod is bringing the letter with her, as she is coming over to India from Japan herself, accompanied by her Japanese converts (male, of course, as she is a lady missionary).
Well, well, I so wish things would so arrange themselves that I could see you once more. Mother knows. By the by, my right eye is failing me badly. I see very little with that one. It will be hard for me for some time either to read or write; and as it is getting worse every day, my people are urging me to go to Calcutta and consult a doctor. I will go soon, as soon as I recover from a bad cold I have on.
I am so glad you were so taken by Abhedananda; only I thought one Hindu was good for a lifetime.
Poor Miss Joe [Miss Josephine MacLeod]--so she remains ignorant as to the real cause of my not going over to Japan! You need not be the least anxious--there is no harm done; and if there were, Joe and especially Mrs. [Ole] Bull make it their life's duty to befriend those I love.
I will try your tonic when it arrives; and the gift, I pray, will even be followed by the giver, for surely a [words excised] . . . is more stimulating and healing than dead drugs.
With all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CCX

To Sister Christine

The Math, P.O. Belur, Howrah,
27th November 1901.
Dear Christine,
It is almost sure, I did not write any letter to you that week in which [I] made that infamous blunder. As I wrote you two letters a few days previously, it is not at all probable that I wrote you another. Then Miss [Josephine] MacLeod [would have] sent the letter back. I must have written only one letter that week to Miss MacLeod, giving her my reasons for not going to Japan; and somehow it so happened that the hand wrote the most familiar name on the envelope. So you need not expect any letter of yours back from Japan, as there was none; and if there were, you shall have it.
I am just under another spell of catarrh and asthma. Yesterday a cyclone blew over the place, and several trees and a bit of the roof are damaged. It is gloomy yet and cold. You know it is almost impossible to write with the asthma on. So au revoir [good-bye].
Vivekananda.

 

CCXI

To Sister Christine

The Math, P.O. Belur, Howrah
12th December 1901
Dear Christine,
Well, then, you wanted to know all about my state of health, and you insist. You shall have it.
You know, the last three years I have been getting albuminuria now and then. It is not constant, nor is it yet of any organic character. The kidneys are structurally all right. Only they throw out albumen now and then.
This is worse than throwing out sugar in diabetes. Albumen poisons the blood, attacks the heart and does all sorts of mischief. Catching cold always increases it. This time it has caused a small blood vessel in the right eye to burst, so that I scarcely see with that eye.
Then the circulation has become very rapid. The doctors have put me to bed; and I am forbidden to eat meat, to walk or even stand up, to read and write.
Already there is some benefit in this lying-down process, as I sleep a lot and have a good appetite and am digesting my meals. Curious, is it not, that inactivity should bring on sleep and appetite? There is no cause to be anxious at all.
Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier arrived in Calcutta three days ago; and by the last advice from Nivedita, Mrs. Bull and she will start on the 13th December, if they can secure berths, or on the 30th December at least. I pray Mrs. Bull has already invited you and that you have got your year's leave and are coming over, and that you will get this letter in India redirected. If Mother does not fulfil this prayer, sure She will take me across the wayter soon, and [line excised] . . . . The doctor says if I keep to my bed for three months, I will get completely cured.
Now, don't worry. If good days are not coming, we will make them, that is all. Hang it! I must have good days now and, that too, very soon. You know, I always keep my word. Mother must do it, or I throw Her overboard. I am not so submissive as you are.
Our old-school physicians pour in tons of iron and other metals--including gold, silver, pearls, etc.--down our throats. I should be a man of iron by this time; perhaps yours will be the last touch to make my body one of steel.
This is our best season for eating turtles, but they are all black. The green [ones] can only be found in America. Alas! I am prevented from the taste of meat.
Now, noble heart, take courage. Don't mope: you have buffeted [too] many a storm in life, old war horse, to be like a silly boarding-school girl. Things must go all right. I am not going to die or to be ill just now; I am determined to be healthy. You know my grit.
Miss [Josephine] MacLeod sent you your letter. What was it about? Was there anything queer? I am glad she had it. She writes beautifully about you. She has already started, and we will have a jolly good company this winter here in Calcutta.
Mrs. [Ole] Bull, Miss MacLeod, Mrs. Sevier and Nivedita and I will be overjoyed if somebody else will be thrown into the bargain. I can't get any more value, eh? I must stop. Am going to look after my geese and ducks just for five minutes, breaking the doctor's command to lie down all the time. One of the geese is a silly, fearful bird, always despondent and anxious. She likes to be all alone by herself and is miserable--very much like another goose I know in another place.

Here my story ends
And spinach top bends.
Why is spinach withering?
Because the goat is browsing.
Why is the goat browsing?
Because no grass is growing.
Why no grass is growing?
The gardener is not watering.
Why there is no watering?
The Master is not commanding.
Why is he not commanding?
An ant has bitten the Master!

This is a nursery rhyme told after a story, and it is true of us all. It is only an ant bite, after all--the trouble here; is it not?

Ever yours,
Vivekananda.

 

CCXII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal, India,
18th December 1901.
Dear Christine,
I am much better, and the rest is doing me good. I have found out that lying in bed all the time gives me as much sleep as wanted and good digestion too. Albumen and sugar vanish immediately [when] I begin taking rest.
Mrs. Bull and Nivedita start for India from Marseilles today, and unless they change their plan, [they] must be in India before this reaches you--two weeks before.
Herewith I send you four hundred and eighty dollars by cheque drawn on Thomas Cook & Son, Broadway, New York. They have no branch office in Detroit. On receipt of this, you write to Thomas Cook & Son, Broadway, New York, that you have got a cheque from India--mentioning the amount and number--drawn by Thomas Cook & Son on the firm of Thomas Cook & Son, and want to be advised as to how to cash it. Don't send the cheque ahead. (Excuse all these details. I feel you are a baby in business, though I am worse.) This is to pay your "passage to India" 170 if you think fit to accept Mrs. Sevier's invitation. If you get leave and come, I am sure you will find somebody who is coming to England, at least. Then from there, again, somebody who is coming to Egypt. You come with them as far as Italy, thence direct on a boat to India.
Second-class passage across the Atlantic is all right, but the second class from Italy to Bombay is rather bad. There are always a few rough men and fast women. There is money enough for travelling first class all through, if you so like.
The Mother will see to it, even as [She did when] this money came. Drop me a line as soon as you engage your passage--better a week ahead; otherwise I don't see how the letter can reach me. The vessel to India you get from London; and possibly a letter may reach me with the name of the vessel, etc. In any case, however, you wire me as soon as you land and get into a good hotel. You will find many persons to receive you
--and me too, most probably.
In case, however, things take another turn and you cannot come, no matter. Do with the money just as it pleases you.
It is very probable that after Miss [Josephine] MacLeod and Mrs. [Ole] Bull have been through India, they are going home via Japan; and, of course, I am going with them. In that case I will be in California next fall.
It will be a nice trip, and would it not be a fine tour round the world if you get leave and come?
Do just as the Mother opens the way for you, and do not worry.
Yours with all love and blessings,
Vivekananda

 

CCXIII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal, India,
25th December 1901.

A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year is the usual congratulation. Alas! The stars brought you a tremendous blow. 171 Blessed be the name of the Lord. After all, it is only "Thy will be done"--our only refuge. I will not insult you by offering you onsolation--you know it all already. Only this line to remind you of one who is in entire sympathy with you and who knows that all your plans must be good in joy or sorrow, as you are dedicated to the eternal Mother. Well, the Mother phenomenal has merged in the Mother absolute, eternal. Thy will be done.
By this time you must have made a decision, or, rather, the "Mother" has shown you the way, surely. I rest content.
The soldier of the Queen has gone abroad to fight for Her cause, leaving all he loves to Her care. The soldier is to look to his duty. The Queen of the Universe knows the rest.
With all love as usual,
Vivekananda.

 

CCXIV

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur, Dist. Howrah,
23rd January 1902.
My dear Christine,
By this time you must have settled your plans. Don't worry, however, on my account. I only want to see you rested and well rested, wherever you be.
Excuse this rather long delay in writing. Owing to various reasons I could not, but [was] mentally sending you good wishes all along.
Miss [Josephine] MacLeod has arrived with her Japanese friends: Mr. Okakura [Kakuzo], a professor of art, and Mr. Hori, a Brahmacharin. The latter has come to India to study Sanskrit and English. The former came to see India, the Motherland of Japanese culture and art. Well, Mrs. [Ole] Bull and Nivedita are also expected in a few days. As it seems now, this whole party is going to Japan--minus Nivedita. She remains here to work.
Now, I am going to try my hand in Japan and, if possible, in China. Oh, how I wish you were coming with Nivedita to make one of the party to Japan! Yet, do not put yourself to unnecessary trouble for that. There is Japan, and there is the U.S., after all, where we meet. You will only break yourself in trying to "hustle up". No Hurry, No Worry. I am rather anxious in not hearing from you for weeks. I pray you are not ill, anyway.
To Mother have I given you over. She protects Her own, ever and ever, I have no fear.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda.

 

CCXIX

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah, Bengal,
30th March 1902.
My dear Christine,
You know how welcome you are--I need not express it. This is a land where expressions are studiously subdued. Margot [Sister Nivedita] and Joe [Miss Josephine MacLeod] have already written and made arrangements at Bombay. I expect and wait for you here in Calcutta. I wish I could be in Bombay to receive you, but all our wishes are not to be fulfilled.
Come over straight; only take great, great care of the heat by protecting the back of the head.
The trains here are not so safe as in your country, so have a little care of your things during night travel.
If you feel tired, take rest in Bombay. Mrs. [Ole] Bull, Joe and Margot are anxiously awaiting you, and so is
Vivekananda.

 

CCXXII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur,
Dist. Howrah,
15th May 1902.
My dear Christine,
So glad to learn you like Mayavati. The heat here has come in earnest, and no rain. I drink very little water though.
I have given up all idea of going to Mayavati or Almora. I bear the heat well, but the rains here are to be avoided. I will remove [myself] to somewhere else then.
No news from Calcutta. I am in a hurry. Write me the details of whatever you see or feel there--about men and things.
Yours with all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CCXXIV

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur, Dist. Howrah,
27th May 1902.
My dear Christine,
I am sorry I could not visit the mountains this time. My health, though not improved as much as I [had] wished, is not bad. The liver has been benefited--[that] is a great gain. The rains will commence very soon in the hills. So it is useless for me to take all the trouble of that terrible route.
I am so happy to learn the mountains are doing you good. Eat a lot, sleep as much as you can, and get plump. Stuff yourself till you get plump or you burst.
So the place did not suit Mr. Okakura [Kakuzo]--why? There must have been something to annoy him very much that he left the place so abruptly. Did he not like the scenery? Was it not sublime enough for him? Or the Japanese do not like sublimity at all? They only like beauty.
One of the boys writes that the little boy is getting disobedient etc. Mrs. Sevier wants me to take him down. So I do. I have asked Sadananda and another monk (whom I want for work here) to go to Almora and wait for the monsoon, and when it breaks, to come down.
If you feel you are becoming the least burdensome to Mrs. Sevier, write me immediately. It would be a sin to put further pressure on her--she does so much for me. However, she likes you very much and writes that you look be-au-ti-ful in saris
.I have just now two kids and three lambs added to the family. There was one more kid, but he got himself drowned in the yellow fish tank. How is Margot? Is she still there, or gone away with Mr. Okakura? How is she pulling on with the boys?
What do you do the whole day? How do you pass the day? Write me all details, and frequently; but do not expect long letters from me often.
Give my love to Mrs. Sevier, to Margot and the rest, and you may take a few spoonfuls, if you like,
with only this,
Vivekananda.
PS--Have an eye on the little chap. The boys are already jealous of him. They did spoil another boy that way before.
V.

 

CCXXV

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur, Dist. Howrah,
14th June 1902.
My dear Christine,
Your letters had to wait a few days, as I was out of town in a village. 175 Well, many thanks for all the information I got. Mr. Okakura [Kakuzo] has been to the Math, but I was away. He will be in Calcutta a few weeks more and then goes to Bombay. He intends taking a house near the city to learn intimately the customs of Bengalees. I am so glad to learn Margo's [Sister Nivedita's] intention to stop at Mayavati longer. She really requires good rest, and she had none in Europe, I am sure of that. If she were amenable to my advice as of old, I would take away every book and every scrap of paper from her, make her walk some, eat a lot and sleep a lot more. As to talking, I would have the merriest conversation all the while.
I have a beautiful letter from Mrs. Sevier, and [am] so happy to learn that she loves you more and more. But plumpness is the criterion, mon amie [my friend], for a' [all] that.
So there was a great flutter in our dovecote owing to my letters, but things must have assumed their old form by this time. The boy, my nephew, is going to be sometime yet in the Ashrama; make him talk English with a good accent--do. No foreign language can be learnt properly unless you talk in it from childhood.
Mr. Bose 176 is still there, I hope; and you must have liked him immensely. He is a man, a brick. Tender him my best regards, will you?
Have you any water in the lakes now? Do you get the snows clearer? It has been raining all through this summer here. We had very few burning days, only a number of stuffy ones. Our rains also have nearly set in. In a week the deluge will commence in earnest.
As for me, I am much stronger than before; and when seven miles of jolting in a bullock-cart and railway travel of thirty-four miles did not bring back the dropsy to the feet, I am sure it is not going to return.
But anyway, it is the Math that suits me best just now.
With all love,
Vivekananda.

 

CCXXVI

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur, Dist. Howrah,
15th June 1902.
Dear Christine,
Just now received your note. I am quite easy in my mind so long [as] you live with Mrs. [Charlotte] Sevier at Mayavati. You know, anxiety is one thing I must avoid to recover. I will be very anxious if you are in Calcutta, at Baghbazar. I am slowly recovering. Stay with Mrs. Sevier as long as you can. Don't come down with Margot [Sister Nivedita].
With love,
Vivekananda.

 

CCXXVII

To Sister Christine

The Math, Belur, Dist. Howrah,
21st June 1902.
My dear Christine,
You have not the least cause to be anxious. I am getting on anyhow and am quite strong. As to diet, I find I have to restrict myself and not follow the prescription of my doctor to eat anything I like. The pills continue, however. Will you ask the boys if they can get "Amalaki" [Emblic myrobalan] fruits in the place now? We cannot get them in the plains now. They are rather sour and puckery eaten raw; but make marmalade of whole [ones]--delicious. Then they are the best things for fermentation I ever get.
No anxiety on the score of Marie Louise's 177 arrival in Calcutta. She has not yet made any noise.
Things go on the same. I am trying to go to Monghyr--a place near Calcutta and said to be very salubrious.
We will think of your coming to Baghbazar after Nivedita has fairly started; till then keep quiet and lay on food.
With all love to yourself, the boys and Mother [Mrs. Charlotte Sevier],
Vivekananda.
PS--I am laying on adipose tissues fast--especially about the abdominal regions: "It is fearful to see!"

 

 

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