1900
CLIV
To Mrs. Ole Bull
17th January, 1900.
My Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
I received yours with the enclosures for Saradananda; and there was some good news. I hope to get some more news this week. You did not write anything about your plans. I had a letter from Miss Greenstidel expressing her deep gratitude for your kindness--and who does not? Turiyananda is getting well by this time, I hope.
I have been able to remit Rs. 2,000 to Saradananda, with the help of Miss MacLeod and Mrs. Leggett. Of course they contributed the best part. The rest was got by lectures. I do not expect anything much here or anywhere by lecturing. I can scarcely make expenses. No, not even that; whenever it comes to paying, the people are nowhere. The field of lecturing in this country has been overworked; the people have outgrown that.
I am decidedly better in health. The healer thinks I am now at liberty to go anywhere I choose, the process will go on, and I shall completely recover in a few months. She insists on this, that I am cured already; only nature will have to work out the rest.
Well, I came here principally for health. I have got it; in addition I got Rs. 2,000, to defray the law expenses. Good.
Now it occurs to me that my mission from the platform is finished, and I need not break my health again by that sort of work.
It is becoming clearer to me that I lay down all the concerns of the Math and for a time go back to my mother. She has suffered much through me. I must try to smooth her last days. Do you know, this was just exactly what the great Shankaracharya himself had to do! He had to go back to his mother in the last few days of her life! I accept it, I am resigned. I am calmer than ever. The only difficulty is the financial part. Well, the Indian people owe something. I will try Madras and a few other friends in India. Anyhow, I must try, as I have forebodings that my mother has not very many years to live. Then again, this is coming to me as the greatest of all sacrifices to make, the sacrifice of ambition, of leadership, of fame. I am resigned and must do the penance. The one thousand dollars with Mr. Leggett and if a little more is collected, will be enough to fall back upon in case of need. Will you send me back to India? I am ready any time. Don't go to France without seeing me. I have become practical at least compared to the visionary dreams of Joe and Margot. Let them work their dreams out for me--they are not more than dreams. I want to make out a trust-deed of the Math in the names of Saradananda, Brahmananda, and yourself. I will do it as soon as I get the papers from Saradananda. Then I am quits. I want rest, a meal, a few books, and I want to do some scholarly work. Mother shows this light vividly now. Of course you were the one to whom She showed it first. I would not believe it then. But then, it is now shown that--leaving my mother was a great renunciation in 1884--it is a greater renunciation to go back to my mother now . Probably Mother wants me to undergo the same that She made the great Acharya undergo in old days. Is it? I am surer of your guidance than of my own. Joe and Margot are great souls, but to you Mother is now sending the light for my guidance. Do you see light? What do you advise? At least do not go out of this country without sending me home.
I am but a child; what work have I to do? My powers I passed over to you. I see it. I cannot any more tell from the platform. Don't tell it to anyone--not even to Joe. I am glad. I want rest; not that I am tired, but the next phase will be the miraculous touch and not the tongue --like Ramakrishna's. The word has gone to you and the voice to Margo. No more it is in me. I am glad. I am resigned. Only get me out to India, won't you? Mother will make you do it. I am sure.
Ever your son,
Vivekananda.
CLV
To Mrs. Ole Bull
Los Angeles,
15th February, 1900.
Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
Before this reaches you, I am off to San Francisco. You already know all about the work. I have not done much work, but my heart is growing stronger every day, physically and mentally. Some days I feel I can bear everything and suffer everything. There was nothing of note inside the bundle of papers sent by Miss Muller. I did not write her, not knowing her address. Then again, I am afraid.
I can always work better alone, and am physically and mentally best when entirely alone! I scarcely had a day's illness during my eight years of lone life away from my brethren. Now I am again getting up, being alone. Strange, but that is what Mother wants me to be. "Wandering alone like the rhinoceros", as Joe likes it. I think the conferences are ended. Poor Turiyananda suffered so much and never let me know; he is so strong and good. Poor Niranjan, I learn from Mrs. Sevier, is so seriously ill in Calcutta that I don't know whether he has passed away or not. Well, good and evil both love company; queer, they come in strings. I had a letter from my cousin telling me her daughter (the adopted little child) was dead. Suffering seems to be the lot of India! Good. I am getting rather callous, rather stilted, of late. Good. Mother knows. I am so ashamed of myself--of this display of weakness for the last two years! Glad it is ended.
Ever your loving son,
Vivekananda.
CLIV*
California,
21st February, 1900.
{original in Bengali}
My dear Akhandananda,
I am very glad to receive your letter and go through the details of news. Learning and wisdom are superfluities, the surface glitter merely, but it is the heart that is the seat of all power. It is not in the brain but in the heart that the Atman, possessed of knowledge, power, and activity, has Its seat. zt< cEka c dySy naf(> -- The nerves of the heart are a hundred and one" etc. The chief nerve-centre near the heart, called the sympathetic ganglia, is where the Atman has Its citadel. The more heart you will be able to manifest, the greater will be the victory you achieve. It is only a few that understand the language of the brain, but everyone, from the Creator down to a clump of grass, understands the language that comes from the heart. But then, in our country, it is a case of rousing men that are, as it were, dead. It will take time, but if you have infinite patience and perseverance, success is bound to come. No mistake in that.How are the English officials to blame? Is the family, of whose unnatural cruelty you have written an isolated one in India? Or, are there plenty of such? It is the same story all over the country. But then, it is not as a result of pure wickedness that the selfishness commonly met with in our country has come. This bestial selfishness is the outcome of centuries of failure and repression. It will be cured at the first inkling of success. It is only this that the English officials are noticing all round; so how can they have faith at the very outset? But tell me, do they not sympathize with any real work that they meet with? ...In these days of dire famine, flood, disease land pestilence, tell me where your Congressmen are. Will it do merely to say, "Hand the government of the country over to us"? And who is there to listen to them? If a man does work, has he to open his mouth to ask for anything? If there be two thousand people like you working in several districts, won't it be the turn of the English themselves to consult you in matters of political moment?"SvkayRmureT a}> -- The wise man should achieve his object." ... A was not allowed to open a centre, but what of that! Has not Kishengarh allowed it? -- Let him work on without ever opening his lips; there is no use of either telling anything to anybody, or quarrelling with any. Whoever will assist in this work of the Divine Mother of the universe, will have Her grace, and whoever will oppose it will not only be " Akar[aiv:k"tvErda[> "-- raising a deadly enemy for nothing", but also laying the axe to his own prospects.znE> pNwa> etc. -- all in good time. Many a little makes a mickle. When a great work is being done, when the; foundations are laid or a road constructed, when super-human energy is needed -- it is one or two extraordinary men who silently and noiselessly work through a world of obstacles and difficulties.When thousands of people are benefited, there is a great tomtoming, and the whole country is loud in notes of praise.But then the machine has already been set agoing, and even a boy can work it, or a fool add to it some impetus. Grasp this that, that benefit done to a village or two, that orphanage with its twenty orphans, those ten or twenty workers -- all these are enough; they from the nucleus, never to be destroyed. From these, hundreds of thousands of people will be benefited in time. Now we want half a dozen lions, then excellent work will be turned out by even hundreds of jackals. ... If orphan girls happen; to come to your hands for shelter, you must take them in above all else. Otherwise, Christian missionaries will take them, poor things away! What matters it that you have no particular arrangements for them? Through the Divine Mother's will, they will be provided for. When you get a horse, never you worry about the whip. ... Get together whomsoever you can lay your hands on, no picking and choosing now -- everything will be set right in course of time. In every attempt there are many obstacles to cope with, but gradually the path becomes smooth.
Convey to the European officer many thanks from me. Work on fearlessly -- there is a hero! Bravo! Thrice well done! The starting of a centre at Bhagalpur that you have written about is no doubt a good idea -- enlightening the schoolboys and things of that sort. But our mission is for the destitute, the poor, and the illiterate peasantry and labouring classes, and if, after everything has been done for them first, there is spare time, then only for the gentry. Those peasants and labouring people will be won over by love. Afterwards it will be they who will collect small sums, and start missions at their own villages, and gradually, from among those very men, teachers will spring.
Teach some boys and girls of the peasant classes the rudiments of learning and infuse a number of ideas into their brains. Afterwards the peasants of each village %redaTmnaTmanm! -- One must raise oneself by one's own exertions" -- this holds good in all spheres. We help them to help themselves. That they are supplying you with your daily bread is a real bit of work done. The moment they will come to understand their own condition and feel the necessity of help and improvement, know that your work is taking effect and is in the right direction, while the little good that the moneyed classes, out of pity, do to the poor, does not last, and ultimately it does nothing but harm to both parties. The peasants and labouring classes are in moribund condition, so what is needed is that the moneyed people will only help them to regain their vitality, and nothing more. Then leave the peasants and labourers to look to their own problem, to grapple with and solve it. But then you must take care not to set up class-strife between the poor peasants, the labouring people, and wealthy classes. Make it a point not to abuse the moneyed classes." SvkayRmureT a}> -- The wise man should achieve his own object."
Victory to the Guru! Victory to the Mother of the Universe! What fear! Opportunity, remedy, and its application will present themselves. I do not care about the result, well or ill. I shall be happy if only you do this much of work. Wordy warfares, texts and scriptures, doctrines and dogmas -- all these I am coming to loathe as poison in this my advanced age. Know this for certain that he who will work will be the crown on my head. Useless bandying of words and making noise is taking away our time, is consuming our life-energy, without pushing the cause of humanitarianism a step further. ma-E> -- Away with fear! Bravo! There is a hero indeed! May the blessed Guru be enthroned in your heart, and the Divine Mother guide your hands.
Yours affectionately,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLVIII
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1502 Jones Street,
San Francisco,
4th March, 1900.
Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
I have not had a word from you for a month. I am in Frisco. The people here have been prepared by my writing beforehand, and they come in big crowds. But it remains to be seen how much of that enthusiasm endures when it comes to paying at the door. Rev. Benjamin Fay Mills invited me to Oakland and gave me big crowds to preach to. He and his wife have been reading my works and keeping track of my movements all the time. I sent the letter of introduction from Miss Thursby to Mrs. Hearst. She has invited me to one of her musicals Sunday next.
My health is about the same; don't find much difference; it is improving, perhaps, but very imperceptibly. I can use my voice, however, to make 3,000 people hear me, as I did twice in Oakland, and get good sleep too after two hours of speaking.
I learn Margot is with you. When are you sailing for France? I will leave here in April and go to the East. I am very desirous of getting to England in May if I can. Must not go home before trying England once more.
I have nice letters from Brahmananda and Saradananda; they are all doing well. They are trying to bring the municipality to its senses; I am glad. In this world of Maya one need not injure, but "spread the hood, without striking". That is enough.
Things must get round; if they don't, it is all right. I have a very nice letter from Mrs. Sevier too. They are doing fine in the mountains. How is Mrs. Vaughan? When is your conference to close? How is Turiyananda?
With everlasting love and gratitude.
Your son,
Vivekananda.
CLIX
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1502 Jones Street,
San Francisco,
7th March, 1900.
Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
Your letter, enclosing one from Saradananda only and the accounts, came. I am very much reassured by all the news I since received from India. As for the accounts and the disposal of the Rs. 30,000, do just what you please. I have given over the management to you, the Master will show you what is best to do. The money is Rs. 35,000; the Rs. 5,000, for building the cottage on the Ganga, I wrote to Saradananda not to use just now. I have already taken Rs. 5,000 of that money. I am not going to take more. I had paid back Rs. 2,000 or more of that Rs. 5,000 in India. But it seems, Brahmananda, wanting to show as much of the Rs. 35,000 intact as he could, drew upon my Rs. 2,000; so I owe them Rs. 5,000 still on that score.
Anyway, I thought I could make money here in California and pay them up quietly. Now I have entirely failed in California financially. It is worse here than in Los Angeles. They come in crowds when there is a free lecture and very few when there is something to pay.
I have some hopes yet in England. It is necessary for me to reach England in May. There is not the least use in breaking my health in San Francisco for nothing. Moreover, with all Joe's enthusiasm, I have not yet found any real benefit from the magnetic healer, except a few red patches on my chest from scratching! Platform work is nigh gone for me, and forcing it is only hastening the end. I leave here very soon, as soon as I can make money for a passage. I have 300 dollars in hand, made in Los Angeles. I will lecture here next week and then I stop. As for the Math and the money, the sooner I am released of that burden the better.
I am ready to do whatever you advise me to do. You have been a real mother to me. You have taken up one of my great burdens on yourself--I mean my poor cousin. I feel quite satisfied. As for my mother, I am going back to her--for my last days and hers. The thousand dollars I have in New York will bring Rs. 9 a month; then I bought for her a bit of land which will bring about Rs. 6; and her old house--that will bring, say, Rs. 6. I leave the house under litigation out of consideration, as I have not got it. Myself, my mother, my grandmother, and my brother will live on Rs. 20 a month easy. I would start just now, if I could make money for a passage to India, without touching the 1,000 dollars in New York.
Anyhow I will scrape three or four hundred dollars--400 dollars will be enough for a second class passage and for a few weeks' stay in London. I do not ask you to do anything more for me; I do not want it. What you have done is more, ever so much more than I deserve. I have given my place solemnly to you in Shri Ramakrishna's work. I am out of it. All my life I have been a torture to my poor mother. Her whole life has been one of continuous misery. If it be possible, my last attempt should be to make her a little happy. I have planned it all out. I have served the Mother all my life. It is done; I refuse now to grind Her axe. Let Her find other workers--I strike.
You have been one friend with whom Shri Ramakrishna has become the goal of life--that is the secret of my trust in you. Others love me personally. But they little dream that what they love me for is Ramakrishna; leaving Him, I am only a mass of foolish selfish emotions. Anyway this stress is terrible, thinking of what may come next, wishing what ought to come next. I am unequal to the responsibility; I am found wanting. I must give up this work. If the work has not life in it, let it die; if it has, it need not wait for poor workers like myself.
Now the money, Rs. 30,000, is in my name, in Government Securities. If they are sold now, we shall lose fearfully, on account of the war; then, how can they be sent over here without being sold there? To sell them there I must sign them. I do not know how all this is going to be straightened out. Do what you think best about it all. In the meanwhile, it is absolutely necessary that I execute a will in your favour for everything, in case I suddenly die. Send me a draft will as soon as possible and I shall register it in San Francisco or Chicago; then my conscience will be safe. I don't know any lawyer here, else I would have got it drawn up; neither have I the money. The will must be done immediately; the trust and things have time enough for them.
Ever your son,
Vivekananda.
CLXIII
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco,
12th March, 1900.
My Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
Your letter from Cambridge came yesterday. Now I have got a fixed address, 1719 Turk Street, San Francisco. Hope you will have time to pen a few lines in reply to this. I had a manuscript account sent me by you. I sent it back as you desired; besides that, I had no other accounts. It is all right.
I had a nice letter from Miss Souter from London. She expects to have Mr. . . . to dine with her.
So glad to hear of Margot's success. I have given her over to you, and am sure you will take care of her. I will be here a few weeks more and then go East. I am only waiting for the warm season.
I have not been at all successful financially here, but am not in want. Anyway, things will go on as usual with me, I am sure; and if they don't, what then?
I am perfectly resigned. I had a letter from the Math; they had the Utsava yesterday. I do not intend to go by the Pacific. Don't care where I go, and when. Now perfectly resigned; Mother knows; a great change, peacefulness is coming on me. Mother, I know, will see to it. I die a Sannyasin. You have been more than mother to me and mine. All love, all blessings be yours for ever, is the constant prayer of
Vivekananda.
PS. Kindly tell Mrs. Leggett that my address for some weeks now will be, 1719 Turk Street, San Francisco.
V.
CLXIV
To Sister Christine
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco, California,
12th March 1900.
Dear Christina,
Just now received a letter from you through New York. I, the other day, wrote you one c/o Mrs. Funke, as I was not sure which of your addresses in my notebook was the correct one! Mental telepathy or foolishness--what is it?
By this time you must have got mine. There is nothing particular about me, except things are going on at the same rate--
very little money-making, a good deal of work, and moving about. I leave here in April and come to Chicago for a few days, then to Detroit and then, through New York, go to England. I hope you are all right. I am very calm and peaceful mentally, and hope to remain so for the rest of my life.
How are Mrs. Funkey [Funke] and the rest of our friends?
With all love,
Vivekananda.
CLXX
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco,
1st April, 1900.
Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
Your kind note came this morning. I am so happy to learn that all the New York friends are being cured by Mrs. Milton. She has been very unsuccessful, it seems, in Los Angeles, as all the people we introduced tell me. Some are in a worse state than before the skin paring. Kindly give Mrs. Milton my love; her rubbings used to do me good at the time at least. Poor Dr. Hiller! We send him over post-haste to Los Angeles to get his wife cured. You ought to have seen him the other morning and heard him too! Mrs. Hiller, it appears, is many times worse for all the rubbings given; and she is only a few bones; and, above all, the doctor had to spend 500 dollars in Los Angeles. That makes him feel very bad. I, of course, would not write this to Joe; she is happy in her dreams of having done so much good to poor sufferers. But oh, if she could hear the Los Angeles folks and this old Dr. Hiller, she would change her mind at once and learn wisdom from an old adage not to recommend medicine to any one. I am so glad I did not write of old Dr. Hiller's alacrity in getting over to Los Angeles when he heard of this cure from Joe. She ought to have seen the old man dance about my room, with greater alacrity! 500 dollars was too much for the old man; he is a German; he dances about, slaps his pockets and says, "You can'th have goth the five hundred, buth for this silly cure!"
Then there are poor people who paid her three dollars a rubbing sometimes and now complimenting Joe and myself. Don't tell this to Joe. You and she can afford to lose money on anyone. So also the old German doctor, but the poor boy finds it a bit hard. The old doctor is now persuaded that some devils are misarranging his affairs of late. He had counted on so much to have me as his guest, and his wife righted, but he had to run to Los Angeles and that upset the whole plan; and now, though he tries his best to get me in as his guest, I fight shy, not of him, but of his wife and sister-in-law. He is sure, "Devils must be in it"; he has been a Theosophical student. I told him to write to Miss MacLeod to hunt up a devil-driver somewhere so that he might run with his wife and spend another five hundred! Doing good is not always smooth!
As for me, I get the fun out of it--as long as Joe pays--bone-cracker, or skin-parer, or any system whatever. But this was not fair of Joe--after having got in all these people to get rubbed down, to run off and let me bear all the compliments! I am glad she is not introducing any outsiders to be skinned. Otherwise Joe would be gone to Paris, leaving poor Mr. Leggett to collect the compliments. I sent in a Christian Science healer to Dr. Hiller as a make-up of Joe's misdemeanour, but his wife slammed the door in her face and would have nothing to do with queer healing.
Anyhow, I sincerely hope and pray Mrs. Leggett will be well this time. Did they analyse the sting?
I hope the will will arrive soon; I am a bit anxious about it. I expected to get a draft trust-deed also by this mail from India; no letters came, not even Awakened India, though I find Awakened India has reached San Francisco.
I read in the papers the other day of 500 deaths in one week of plague in Calcutta! Mother knows what is good.
So Mr. Leggett has got the V. Society up. Good.
How is Olea? Where is Margot? I wrote her a letter the other day to 21 W. 34, N.Y. I am so happy that she is making headway. With all love,
Ever your son,
Vivekananda.
PS. I am getting all the work I can do and more. I will make my passage, anyhow. Though they cannot pay me much, yet they pay some, and by constant work I will make enough to pay my way and have a few hundred in the pocket anyhow. So you needn't be the least anxious about me.
V.
CLXXIII
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco,
8th April, 1900.
My Dear Dhira Mata {Mrs. Bull},
Here is a long letter from A__. He seems to be entirely upset. I am sure a little kindness will completely win him over. He thinks that you want to drive him out of New York, etc. He awaits my orders. I have told him to trust you in everything and remain in New York till I come.
I think, as things stand in New York, they require my presence. Do you? In that case I shall come over soon.
I have been making enough money to pay my passage. I will stop on my way at Chicago and Detroit.
Of course by that time you will be off. A__ has done good work so far; and, of course, you know I do not meddle with my workers at all.
The man who can work has an individuality of his own and resists any pressure there. That is my reason in leaving workers entirely free. Of course you are on the spot and know best. Advise me what to do.
The remittance to Calcutta has duly reached. I got news of it by this mail. My cousin sends her respects and thanks, but she is sorry she cannot write English.
I am getting better every day, and even walking uphill. There are falls now and then, but the duration is decreasing constantly. My thanks to Mrs. Milton.
I had a little note from Siri Gryanander. Poor girl, she is so thankful to be trusted. That is just like Mrs. Leggett--good, good, good. Money is not evil after all--in good hands. I hope fervently Siri will completely recover, poor child.
I will leave here in about two weeks. I go to a place called Star Klon and then start for the East. It may be I may go to Denver also. With all love to Joe,
Ever your son,
Vivekananda.
PS. I do not any more doubt my ultimate cure; you ought to see me working like a steam engine cooking, eating anything and everything, and, all the same, sleeping well and keeping well!
I have not done any writing--no time. I am so glad Mrs. Leggett is much better and walking about naturally. I expect her complete recovery soon and pray for it.
V.
PS. I had a nice letter from Mrs. Sevier; they are going on splendidly with the work. Plague has broken out severely at Calcutta, but no hullabaloo over it this time.
V.
PS. Did you reveal to A__ that I have given over to you the charge of the entire work? Well, you know best how to do things; but he seems to be hurt at that.
V.
CLXV
To Sister Christine
1719 Turk Street,
San Francisco,
[April 9, 1900]
Hello! What's the matter with you--gone to sleep? Have not had any news of you for a long time.
I am getting better every day, and one of these days--say in a few weeks--I am coming straight to say how-d'you-do. Well, I will be here two weeks more, then to a place called Stockton--thence to the East. I may stop a few days in Chicago. I may not.
Beginning of May, I come [for] sure to Detroit. I will, of course, write to you. How is life going on with you--grinding, as usual? Any improvements? Write a chatty letter if you feel like. I am dying to get news.
Ever yours in the Truth,
Vivekananda.
CLXVIII
To Mrs. Ole Bull (in London)
San Francisco
18 May 1900
My dear Mother,
Many thanks for Joe's [Miss Josephine MacLeod's] and your letters. I have again a bad relapse--and [am] struggling out of it. This time I am perfectly certain that with me all diseases are nervous. I want rest for two, three years--and not the least bit of work between. I will take rest with the Seviers in the Himalayas.
Mrs. [James Henry] Sevier gave me 6,000 Rs. for family--this was distributed between my cousin, aunt, etc. The 5,000 Rs. for buying the house was borrowed from the Math funds. Do not stop the remittance you send to my cousin, whatever Saradananda may say to the contrary. Of course I do not know what he says.
I have long given up the idea of a little house on the Ganges, as I have not the money.
But I have got some in Calcutta and some with the Leggetts, and if you give a thousand more, that will be a fund for my own personal expenses (as you know I never took Math money) as well as for my mother. Kindly write to Saradananda to give up the little house plan. I am not going to write any more for weeks yet--till I completely recover. I hope to get over [it] in a few weeks from now--it was a terrible relapse. I am with a Doctor friend [Dr. Milburn H. Logan], and he is taking every care of me.
Tell Joe that going amongst different people with a message also does not belong to the Sannyasin; for a Sannyasin, [there] is quiet and retirement, scarcely seeing the face of man.
I am now ripe for that, physically at least. If I don't go into retirement, nature will force me to it. Many thanks that temporal things have been so well arranged by you.
With all love to Joe and yourself--
Your Son,
Vivekananda
CLXX
To Swami Abhedananda
770 Oak Street
San Francisco, Cal.
C/o Dr. Logan, M.D.
[May 19, 1900?]
My dear Abhedananda
I am very, very glad to hear about the new home of the Vedanta Society. As things stand, I will have to come to New York direct from here--without stoppage--but it will be two or three weeks yet, I am afraid. Things are coming up so fast that I can not but change my plans and stop a few more days.
I am trying my best to get one of you for a flying visit to this Coast--it is a great country for Vedanta.
Get all my books and clothes etc., inyour home. I am coming soon. My love to Mrs. Crane. Is she still living on beef-steak and hot water? Miss [Sarah Ellen] Waldo and Mrs. Coulston 154 write about the publication of a new edition of Karma-Yoga. I have written to Miss Waldo all about it. The money in hand from the sale of books ought to be spent, of course.
Do you see my books and clothes all safe there? They were with Mrs. Bull in Boston.
With all love,
Vivekananda
CLXIX
To Sister Christine
C/o Dr. Logan,
770 Oak Street,
San Francisco, California,
19th May 1900.
Dear Christina,
How are you? When is your vacation to commence? I am still in California. Hope to start for the East in two or three weeks more.
Write me all about yourself and how things are going on. How is Mrs. Funkey [Funke]? And the other friends?
Yours as ever,
Vivekananda.
CLXXI
To Sister Christine
Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
9th June 1900.
Dear Christina,
I could not write more, as the last few weeks of my stay in California was one more relapse and great suffering. However, I got one great benefit out of it inasmuch as I came to know I have really no disease, except worry and fear. My kidneys are as sound as any other healthy man's. All the symptoms of Bright's disease etc., are only brought on by nerves.
I wrote you one, however, from 770 Oak Street, San Francisco, to which I did not get any reply. Of course, I was bedridden then and my address book was not in the place I was in. There was a mistake in number. I cannot believe you did not reply willingly.
As you see, now I am in New York, and will be here a few days. I have an invitation from Mrs. Walton of Cleveland, Ohio. I have accepted it. She writes me you are also invited and have accepted her invitation. Well, we will meet in Cleveland then. I am sure to see you before I go to Europe--either there or anywhere you wish. If you don't think it would be possible for you to come to Ohio, I will come to any other place you want me to come to say goodbye.
When is your school going to close? Write me all about your plans--do!
Miss Noble wants me very much to go to Cleveland. I would be very, very glad to get a few weeks' seclusion and rest before I start with friends who do not disturb me at all. I know I will find rest and peace that way, and you can help me any amount in that. In Cleveland, of course, there will be a few friends always and much talkee-talkee as a matter of course. So if you think I will have real peace and rest elsewhere, just write all about it.
My reply to the Cleveland lady depends on your letter.
How I wish I were in Detroit or elsewhere just now, among friends who I know are good and true always. This is weakness; but when the physical vitality is lowered and the nerves all unstrung, I feel so, so much to depend upon somebody. You will be glad to learn I made a little money in the West. So I will be quite able to pay my expenses.
Write soon.
Yours affectionately,
Vivekananda.
CLXXII
To Sister Christine
Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
13th June 1900.
Dear Christina,
There is no cause for any anxiety. As I wrote, I am healthier than ever; moreover, all the past fear of kidney troubles has passed away. "Worry" is the only disease I have, and I am conquering it fast.
I will be here a week or two, and then I come to Detroit. If things so happen that I cannot come, I will sure send for you. Anyway, I am not going to leave this country before seeing you. Sure, sure--I must see you first, and then go to Europe.
Things are looking cheerful once more, and good luck, like ill, also comes in bunches. So I am sure it will be smooth sailing every way now, for some time at least.
With love to Mrs. Funkey [Funke],
Ever yours in the Truth,
Vivekananda.
CLXXIII
To Sister Christine
Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
15 June 1900.
My dear Christina,
I am getting better every day, only this New York is a bad place for sleep. Again, I am working some, though not hard, to get the old friends together and put the thing in shape.
Now, you know, I will in a week or so finish this work and then be ready for a real quiet of a week or two or more.Detroit, alas! will be no better than New York. With so many old friends! How can you avoid friends whom you really love?
I will have perfect freedom at yours--sure--but how can I avoid seeing friends and the eternal visiting and paying visits and much talkee-talkee? Do you know any other place within eight or ten hours (I want to avoid night rides) of riding from New York where I can be quiet and free from the people? (Lord bless them.) I am dead tired seeing people just now. Just think of that and everything else; if, after all, you think Detroit is the best place for me, I am ready to come.
Yours truly,
Vivekananda.
PS--I am also thinking of a quiet place.
V.
CLXXIV
To Sister Christine
Vedanta Society,
102 East 58th Street,
New York,
27th June 1900.
Dear Christina,
This is my plan just now. I will have to remain in New York a few days yet to see my books through. I am going to publish another edition of Karma-Yoga and the London lectures in a book form. Miss Waldo is editing them, and Mr. Leggett will publish.
Then, I think, if I am to remain in this country a few weeks more, it is better that you get a rest and change. Newport 155 is a celebrated seaside place--four hours from New York. I am invited there. I will go there this week and, as promised, I [will] find quiet and retirement and freedom. I will try to find a place for you and wire you as soon as found.
I am sure in Detroit you cannot have rest. A little change of place and quiet from time to time is a great factor in renewing one's vigour
.Well, if you think that you would have better rest and quiet in Detroit, drop a line and I come. It is only seventeen hours from New York to Detroit, and I am quite strong to undertake it. I am free to go already; only I really want you to take a good, long rest for some weeks at least.
Don't be afraid of expenses. Mother has amply provided that and will provide, so long I am unselfish.
Think [over] all the pros and cons, and write at your earliest convenience.
I am going to Newport anyway, just to see what it looks like. I will write you all about [it] as soon as I am there.
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.
CLXXV
To Mrs. Alice (Shanti) Hansbrough
The Vedanta Society,
102 E. 58th Street, New York, N.Y.
[End of June 1900]
Dear Mrs. Hansbrough--
I have not written you a line since you left San Francisco. I am well and things are going on well with me. I am in New York once more, where they have got now a home for the Society and their headquarters. I and the other Swamis also live there.
A San Francisco lady [Miss Minnie C. Boock] now here owns a plot of land near Mt. Hamilton, 12 miles east of Lick observatory--160 acres in area. She is going to make us a present of it. It would be nice for a summer gathering for us in California. If friends like to go there now, I will send them the written authority. Will you write to Mrs. Aspinall and Miss Bell etc., about it? I am rather desirous it should be occupied this summer as soon as possible. There is only a log cabin on the land; for the rest they must have tents.
I am sorry I can not spare a Swami yet.
With all love to you and Mrs. [Carrie Mead] Wyckoff and the baby of the family.
Ever yours in the Truth,
Vivekananda
P.S. Tell Helen [the youngest Mead sister]--I thank her for her kind invitation, but [am] so sorry [I] can not accept it now. After all, you three sisters have become a part of my mind forever. What about the club?
V.
CLXXVII
To Mrs. Alice (Shanti) Hansbrough
102 E. 58th Street
New York
3rd July 1900
My dear Mrs. Hansbrough--
This is to introduce Swami Turiyananda. The lady who gave the piece of land for Vedanta work belongs to Los Angeles. She has taken Turiyananda with her. He is a great spiritual teacher--but has no experience in platform work.
The best thing would be to help him to start a centre for quiet and rest and meditation in the land near San Jose.
With all love to the holy Trinity. 156
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda
CLXXVI
To Sister Christine
[On July 3, 1900, before departing for Detroit with Swami Turiyananda and Miss Minnie Boock, Swami Vivekananda dispatched a telegram.]
[Postmarked: New York
July 3, 1900]
Started reach tomorrow Wednesday 2 p.m. Come station Wabash.
Swami Vivekananda
CLXXVIII
To Swami Abhedananda
102 E. 58th Street
New York, N.Y.
24 July 1900
Dear Abhedananda,
I would have gladly remained here, but sastay kisti mat. 157 Got a fine berth--one room all to myself--on a fine vessel. 158 As soon as August comes it will be a terrible Bhida [crowd] as the companies are reducing prices.
Things are going quite all right. Mr. Johnson has returned to their house, and all the rooms are full except two. You write to Mrs. Crane whether you want to get them or not.
You need not feel the least anxiety about the N.Y. work; it will go as a marriage bull next season. Give my love to Mrs. [Mary B.] Coulston and explain to her the circumstances.
With all love,
Vivekananda
CLXXIX
To Sister Christine
a Bord de Paquebot la Champagne,
Friday morning, 9 a.m.,
3rd August 1900.
Dear Christina,
It is foggy this morning. We are in the channel--expect to reach [Le Havre] at 12 a.m. [noon]. It has been a very bad voyage--rolling and raining and dark nearly all the time. Terrible rolling all through. Only last night I had good sleep. On other occasions the rolling makes me sleep well, but this time I don't know what was the matter; the mind was so whirling. Anyway,
I am well and soon to reach land.
Hope to reach Paris this evening.
I send this to Detroit, expecting you there.
With all love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
CLXXXI
To Sister Christine
6, Place des Etats-Unis
14th August 1900
Dear Christine,
Your letter from New York reached just now. You must have got mine from France, directed to 528 Congress.
Well--it was a dreary, funeral-like time. Just think what it is to a morbid man like me!
I am going to the Exposition, etc., trying to pass time. Had a lecture here. Pre Haycinth [Hyacinthe], the celebrated clergy-man here, seems to like me much. Well, well what? Nothing. Only, you are so good, and I am a morbid fool--that is all about it. But "Mother"--She knows best. I have served Her through weal or woe. Thy will be done. Well, I have news of my lost brother [Mahendranath Datta]. He is a great traveller, that is good. So you see, the cloud is lifting slowly. My love to your mother and sister and to Mrs. Funkey [Funke].
With love,
Vivekananda
CLXXXIII
To Sister Christine
6, Place des Etats-Unis, Paris
23rd August 1900
Dear Christine,
What is the matter with you? Are you ill? Unhappy? What makes you silent? I had only one little note from you in all this time.
I am getting a bit nervous about you--not much. Otherwise I am enjoying this city. Did Mrs. A. P. Huntington write you?
I am well--keeping well as far as it is possible with me.
With love,
Vivekananda
CLXXXVIII
To a Brahmacharin of the Advaita Ashrama, Mayavati
New York,
August, 1900.
{original in Bengali}
Dear __ {Brahmachari Harendra Nath},
I had a letter from you several days ago, but I could not reply earlier. Mr. Sevier speaks well of you in his letter. I am very pleased at this.
Write to me in minute detail who all are there, and what each one is doing. Why don't you write letters to your mother? What is this? Devotion to the mother is the root of all welfare. How is your brother getting on with his studies at Calcutta? The Sannyasin-names of those there escape my memory--how to address each? Give my love to all conjointly. I got the news that Khagen has now fully recovered. This is happy news. Write to me whether the Seviers are attending to your comforts and other details. I am glad to know that Dinu's health is all right. The boy Kali has a tendency to become fat; but this will all surely go away by constantly climbing up and down the hills there. Tell Swarup that I am very much pleased with his conducting of the paper. He is doing splendid work. Give to all others also my love and blessings. Tell everybody that my health is now all right. From here I shall go to England and from there to India very shortly.
With all blessings,
Vivekananda.
CLXIV
6 Place Des Etats Unis,
Paris, France,
10 September 1900.
Dear Alberta,
I am surely coming this evening and of course will be very glad to meet the princess (probably Princess Demidoff) and her brother. But if it be too late to find my way out here, you will have to find me a place to sleep in the house.
Yours with love and blessings,
VIVEKANANDA.
CLXXXIV
To Sister Christine
6 Place des Etats Unis,
Paris,
15th September 1900.
Dear Christina,
Your letter was very reassuring. I am so glad this summer did you good. So you did not get enamoured of New York City.
Well, I am getting enamoured of Paris. I now am living with a M. Jules Bois, a French savant, who has been a student and admirer of my works.
He talks very little English; in consequence, I have to trot out my jargon French and am succeeding well, he says. I can now understand if he will talk slowly.
Day after tomorrow I go to Bretagne [Brittany] where our American friends are enjoying the sea breeze--and the massage. 159
I go with M. Bois for a short visit; aprs ca [after that] I don't know where I go. I am getting quite Frenchy, connaissez-vous [do you know]? I am also studying grammaire and hard at work. [Sentence torn off] In a few months I hope to be Frenchy, but by that time I will forget it by staying in England.
I am strong, well and content--no morbidity.
Au revoir,
Vivekananda.
LIII
Perros Guirec
Bretagne
22nd September, 1900
To Miss Alberta Sturges
on her 23rd birthday
The mother's heart, the hero's will,
The softest flower's sweetest feel;
The charm and force that ever sway
The altar fire's flaming play;
The strength that leads, in love obeys;
Far reaching dreams, and patient ways,
Eternal faith in Self, in all
The sight Divine in great in small;
All these, and more than I could see
Today may "Mother" grant to thee.
Ever yours with love and blessings,
Vivekananda.
Dear Alberta,
This little poem is for your birthday. It is not good, but it has all my love. I am sure, therefore, you will like it.Will you kindly send a copy each of the pamphlets there to madame Besnard, Clairoix, Bres Compiegne, Oise, and oblige?
Your well wisher,
Vivekananda.
CXCV
To Sister Christine
6 Place Des Etats Unis,
Paris,
14th October, 1900.
{original in French}
God bless you at each step, my dear Christine, such is my constant prayer!
Your letter, so beautiful and so calm, has given me that fresh energy which I am often losing.
I am happy, yes, I am happy, but the cloud has not left me entirely. It sometimes comes back, unfortunately, but it no longer has the morbidity it used to have.
I am staying with a famous French writer, M. Jules Bois. I am his guest. As he is a man making his living with his pen, he is not rich; but we have many great ideas in common and feel happy together.
He discovered me a few years ago and has already translated some of my pamphlets into French. We shall in the end find what we are looking for, isn't it?
Thus, I shall travel with Madame Calve, Miss MacLeod, and M. Jules Bois. I shall be the guest of Madame Calve, the famous singer. We shall go to Constantinople, the Near East, Greece, and Egypt. On our way back, we shall visit Venice.
It may be that I shall give a few lectures in Paris after my return, but they will be in English with an interpreter. I have no time any more, nor the power to study a new language at my age. I am an old man, isn't it?
Mrs. Funke is ill. I think she works too hard. She already had some nervous trouble. I hope she will soon be well.
I am sending all the money I earned in America to India. Now I am free, the begging-monk as before. I have also resigned from the Presidentship of the Monastery. Thank God, I am free! It is no more for me to carry such a responsibility. I am so nervous and so weak.
"As the birds which have slept in the branches of a tree wake up, singing when the dawn comes, and soar up into the deep blue sky, so is the end of my life."
I have had many difficulties, and also some very great successes. But all my difficulties and suffering count for nothing, as I have succeeded. I have attained my aim. I have found the pearl for which I dived into the ocean of life. I have been rewarded. I am pleased.
Thus it seems to me that a new chapter of my life is opening. It seems to me that Mother will now lead me slowly and softly. No more effort on roads full of obstacles, now it is the bed prepared with birds' down. Do you understand that? Believe me, I feel quite sure.
The experience of all my life, up to now, has taught me, thank God, that I always find what I am looking for with eagerness. Sometimes it is after much suffering, but it does not matter! All is forgotten in the softness of the reward. You are also going through troubles, my friend, but you shall have your reward. Alas! What you now find is not a reward but an additional affliction.
As to myself, I see the cloud lifting, vanishing, the cloud of my bad Karma. And the sun of my good Karma rises--shining, beautiful, and powerful. This will also be the case for you, my friend. My knowledge of this language has not the power to express my emotion. But which language can really do so?
So I drop it, leaving it to your heart to clothe my thought with a soft, loving, and shining language. Good night, gute Nacht !
Your devoted friend,
Vivekananda.
PS. We shall leave Paris for Vienna on October 29th. Mr. Leggett is leaving for the United States by next week. We shall notify the Post Office to forward our letters to our further destinations.
V.
CLXXXV
To Mrs. Ole Bull
66, Rue Amp?re
22nd October 1900
Dear Mother,
I am sorry to learn you are not well. Hope you will soon be better. Things seem to turn out better for me.
Mr. Maxim of the gun fame is very much interested in me, and he wants to put in his book on China and the Chinese something about my work in America. 160 I have not any documents with me; if you have, kindly give them to him. He will come to see you and talk it over with you. Canon Hawes [Reverend Hugh Reginald Haweis] also keeps track of my work in England. So much about that. It may be that Mother will now work up my original plan of international work. In that case, you will find your work of the Conference 161 has not been in vain.
It seems that after this fall in my health, physical and mental, it is going to open out that way--larger and more international work. Mother knows best.
My whole life has been divided into successive depressions and rises--and so, I believe, is the life of everyone. I am glad, rather than not, these falls come. I understand it all; still, I suffer and grumble and rage!! Perhaps that is a part of the cause of the next upheaval.
I think you will be in America by the time we return; if not, I will see you in London again. Anyhow, adieu for the present. We start day after tomorrow for Egypt etc. And all blessings ever be on you and yours is, as always, my prayer.
Your son,
Vivekananda
PS: To Margot [Sister Nivedita] my love, and I am sure she will succeed.
V.
CLXXXVI
To Miss Alberta Sturges
[Swami Vivekananda sent the following postcard.
[Constantinople,
November 1, 1900]
Dear Alberta,
How are you? I am having a grand Turkish time.
Yours,
Vivekananda
CLXXXVII
To Sister Christine
[On a postcard, picturing the old decayed fortress walls of Istanbul, Swami Vivekananda wrote the following note.]
[Postmarked: November 1, 1900]
Dear Christina--
I am having a good time here. So I hope you also are having in Detroit--
Yours truly,
Vivekananda.
CLXXXIX
To Sister Christine
[On a postcard, showing the temple of Hepaistos, popularly called Thesion, Swami Vivekananda wrote.]
[Postmarked: Athens,
November 11, 1900]
Great fun. I write without the possibility of being written to, as I am changing place all the time. How do you do?
Vivekananda
CLXV
The Math, Belur,
11th Dec., 1900.
Dear Joe,
I arrived night before last. Alas! my hurrying was of no use.
Poor Captain Sevier passed away, a few days ago -- thus two great Englishmen gave up their lives for us -- us the Hindus. Thus is martyrdom if anything is. Mrs. Sevier I have written to just now, to know her decision.I am well, things are well here -- every way. Excuse this haste. I will write longer ere long.
Ever yours in truth,
VIVEKANANDA.
CXCVII
To Mrs. Ole Bull
The Math, Belur,
Howrah Dist., Bengal, India,
15 December, 1900.
My Dear Mother {Mrs. Bull},
Three days ago I reached here. It was quite unexpected--my visit, and everybody was so surprised.
Things here have gone better than I expected during my absence, only Mr. Sevier has passed away. It was a tremendous blow, sure, and I don't know the future of the work in the Himalayas. I am expecting daily a letter from Mrs. Sevier who is there still.
How are you? Where are you? My affairs here will be straightened out shortly, I hope, and I am trying my best to straighten them out.
The remittance you send my cousin should henceforth be sent to me direct, the bills being drawn in my name. I will cash them and send her the money. It is better the money goes to her through me.
Saradananda and Brahmananda are much better and this year there is very little malaria here. This narrow strip on the banks of the river is always free from malaria. Only when we get a large supply of pure water the conditions will be perfected here.
Vivekananda.