STOP THAT LUSTFUL LOOK!
A gentleman who has given up smoking and drinking wants to practice Brahmacharya, though married. His wife has no objection, but he himself finds this discipline hard; especially, the trouble seems to be in the control of the sense of sight. "The street is my chief enemy", he said to me recently. This means that the eyes are attracted by well-dressed ladies.
Another aspirant says, "While I practiced vigorously Pranayama, Japa and meditation, my mind was not polluted even if I saw half-nude young ladies. But when I left the practice, I was not able, to control my sight and I was attracted by well-dressed ladies in the streets and half-nude pictures pasted in front of picture-houses. The sea-beach and Mall Road are my enemies."
Those who practice Brahmacharya should control the sexual gazing impulse. This kind of impulse is a great menace, as it stimulates curiosity and sexual desire. Vasanas grow from lustful look.
Looking at a woman will create a desire to talk to her. Talking to a woman will create a desire to touch her. Eventually you will have an impure mind and will fall a victim. Therefore, never look at a woman. Never talk to a woman in privacy. Do not be familiar with any woman.
There is no harm in looking at a beautiful object; but you will have to develop the Divine Bhav. You will have to feel that everything is a manifestation of God. Purify your thoughts and feelings. Purity is Brahman. Thou art pure in essence. Thou art an embodiment of purity, O Ram. Repeat mentally the formula, "Suddhoham, Suddhoham. I am purity, I am purity", and attain that state of pristine, matchless purity.
You have no lustful look when you see your mother or sister although they are beautiful, well-dressed and decorated with ornaments and flowers. You look at them with affection and pure love. This is Suddha Bhavana. There are no lustful ideas. You will have to develop such a pure love or Bhavana when you look at other women also. If there is impurity behind the gaze, it tantamounts to adultery. Looking at a woman with a lustful heart is tantamount to sexual enjoyment. It is one form of Maithunam. That is the reason why Lord Jesus says, "If you have a lustful look at a woman, you have already committed adultery in your heart."
There is no harm in looking at a woman, but you must have a perfectly chaste look. You must have Atma-Bhav. When you look at a young lady, you can think within yourself: "Prostrations unto Thee, O Mother. Thou art an image or manifestation of Mother Kali. Do not tempt. Do not allure me. I have understood now the secret of Maya and her creation. Who has created these forms? There is an omnipotent, all-pervading and all-merciful Creator behind these names and forms. This is all decaying, false beauty. The Creator or God is Beauty of beauties. He is an embodiment of undecaying beauty. He is the fountain-head of beauty. Let me realize this Beauty of beauties through meditation." You will have to cultivate feelings of devotion, admiration and awe when you look at an alluring form by remembering the Creator of that form. Then you will not be tempted. If you are a student of Vedanta, think and feel: "Everything is Self only. The names and forms are illusory. They are Mayaic pictures. They have no independent existence apart from the Self."
If one should not look at a woman, how did the Rishis of yore impart Atma-Jnana to ladies? Why did they keep them in their constant company for service?
The dictum, "Do not look even at the picture of a woman", is for passionate people who have no self-control. Yajnavalkya taught Atma-Vidya to his wife Maitreyi. Raikva had the daughter of King Janasruti to serve him. He was a Naishthik Brahmachari.
Even in a Jivanmukta or a liberated sage, the eyes will move towards the objects through the force of habit. But, he can withdraw them completely and make them mere empty sockets if he wills. When he sees a woman, he does not see her outside himself. He sees the whole world within himself. He feels that the woman is his own Self. He has no sex idea. There are no evil thoughts in his mind. He feels no sexual attraction towards her. Whereas, a worldly man sees the woman outside himself. He entertains lustful thoughts. He has no idea of Self. He is attracted towards her. This is the difference between the vision of a Jnani and that of a worldly man. There is no harm in looking at women, but you must not entertain evil thoughts.
There is no harm in looking at a beautiful woman. You can admire the beauty of a girl just as you admire the beauty of a rose, the beauty of the sea, the stars or any other natural scenery. Think that the beauty of your wife belongs to Nature and Nature’s Lord, Isvar. Whenever you see a lady, put this question to your mind: "Who is the creator of this beautiful form?" At once, a sense of wonder, a sense of admiration and a sense of devotion will arise in your mind. It is only when you dart a lustful, unchaste look at a woman that you commit sin. You commit adultery at heart. Only when you entertain lustful thoughts, bondage and misery come.
The beauty that you perceive in the faces of the ladies is the beauty of the Lord. You can have admiration in this manner. There is no harm in so doing.
Woman is a symbol of beauty. She is a symbol of power. She talks to you in the language of silence: "I am a representative of Adi Sakti. See God in me. See Mother Kali in me. Realize God in and through me. Worship God as an embodiment of beauty. Adore Him as an embodiment of power. Recognise His omnipotence." Again and again think that the beauty of the face is the beauty of the Lord. Godly feeling will arise in you when you look at a woman. Study the Tenth Chapter of the Gita, Vibhuti Yoga, again and again.
Impure thoughts that arise at the sight of a woman will gradually vanish when you grow in purity through regular Japa and meditation. It takes some time to destroy the old vicious Samskaras and overhaul the mental factory. Again and again raise pure counter-thoughts in the mind. Bring up the image of the Lord. Again and again try to feel Atma in women by forgetting the sex idea and create disgust in your mind by an analysis of the parts of which the body is composed.
Whenever the mind runs towards attractive women with lustful thoughts, have a definite clear-cut photo in the mind of the flesh, bone, urine, faecal matter and perspiration of which women are composed. This will induce disgust and Vairagya in the mind. You will never again commit the sin of unchaste look at a woman. It takes some time, no doubt. Ladies also can practice the foregoing method and keep a mental picture of men in just the same way.
You should develop not only disgust in your mind, but also fear in order to get rid of the sex idea. Are you not extremely frightened when a cobra comes in front of you? This must be the state of your mind when lustful thoughts enter your mind. Then only the sex attraction will gradually die.
Inflict self-punishment if the mind runs towards women with lustful ideas. Give up night meals. Do twenty Malas more of Japa. Always wear a Kaupin or Langoti.
Do not look at a woman with an evil eye. If she is old, treat her as your mother; if she is young, as your sister; and if very young, as your child. You may fail to develop the Bhav that all women are your mothers and sisters a hundred and one times. It does not matter. Stick to your practice tenaciously. You are bound to succeed eventually.
When you walk on the road, do not look hither and thither like a monkey. Look at the tip of your right big toe and walk gently with a Gambhir attitude. Or look at the ground and walk. This is a great help in maintaining Brahmacharya. You can look at the tip of the nose also.
O child of the Immortal Essence! Thou hast walked for a long time with lustful eyes. Apply the collyrium of discrimination and the pigment of Vichar. You will have a new magnanimous vision. The whole world will appear to you as a mass of crystallised bliss. You will find no evil, no ugliness.
There is no denying, however, that lust is a powerful force to overcome. Somebody asked Raja Yudhishthira, "O Yudhishthira, when you look at your mother Kunti, is your look absolutely chaste?" Yudhishthira replied, "I cannot say that my look is entirely pure." Such is the force of lust.
You may say outwardly: "I regard her as my mother. I consider her as my sister." Though you may not do anything outwardly on account of religious fear or Loka-Lajja, mentally you are not what you should be. The mind will run in wrong directions. It will be doing havoc silently. Various kinds of evil thoughts and desires will arise in your mind. Desire or thought is more than the act. When you are put to test silently, you will fail hopelessly. You will not be able to have physical control even.
There is nothing, however, that a Sadhaka cannot achieve if he sets his mind to it. The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory of success. Try, try, try again. Train yourself not to look at a woman for some time. If you are unable to do this and find your looks straying up to a woman with lustful purpose, raise in your mind the image of a corpse or a skeleton or wrinkled, diseased old woman and keep it till you are filled with disgust. This will enable you to succeed finally in subduing passion. At the same time, take refuge in Devi’s lotus-feet. Pray to Her constantly for strength to withstand and conquer the onslaughts of passion. Look upon every woman as Sri Devi Herself and do mental prostration to her at sight, repeating, "Om Sri Durga Devyai Namah." By vigilant and constant Sadhana like the above, you can gradually eradicate the powerful enemy.
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